Happy Birthday: Revealing/Reveling

Today is my birthday.

In person, I'm always completely open about my age and will offer it without hesitation. I'm not a believer in lying about age; it's pointless because you're exactly as old as you are, no matter what you say, and there's no shame in proclaiming your actual age. Maybe this is due in part to my looking older than I was as a teen (which was good then) and then looking younger than I am as an adult, but it's just a strong belief for me.

However, I've been less forthcoming here and I was reflecting on that earlier today. I think the reason is two-fold: First, once it's laid out online, it's a fact frozen in time. Second, people often have preconceptions of someone based on their age, and that's something you can't overcome online because you don't "meet" them and see their personality.

I can't change either of those things, but I've decided that it just doesn't matter to me all that much anymore. Mellowing with age? Perhaps.

Today is my 42nd birthday and I'm happier with who I am than I have been at any other point in my life. I'm grateful every day for my family and my friends, both those I see in person and those with whom I interact solely online. I've come through a huge change in my work life and I'm finding my way just fine. The landscape of people in my life has also undergone changes, some of which were hard to take, but all I can do is appreciate the time I had with some people and not lament their absence. Are there some things that are missing, things that might make my life even fuller? Sure. But they don't diminish the person I am today. I'm not defined by them any more than I'm defined by my age alone.

So Happy 42nd Birthday to me. Here's a toast to number 43 and all those beyond, with a nod to all those behind.

Mercy post...kind of

A certain someone complained that he kept getting reminded of the subject of my last post because I hadn't written anything since to push it down the page. So, here you go, it has now been demoted to "old news." However, that's probably the only part of this you're going to like, B.

Today is a celebration. It's a celebration of love, a celebration of equality, a celebration of hopefulness and a celebration of victory over discrimination.

Today was the first day of legal same-sex marriage in California, and it's a day that I feel quite happy and satisfied to be a Californian, a state that is making a stride forward. This is only one of thousands of articles on the event, but it covers all the bases pretty well, if you haven't heard it dozens of times already. And if you feel similarly, here is something you can do to share your thoughts with the governor of your state.

I don't know anyone at this point who is planning to tie the knot, same-sex or opposite-sex, but I'm celebrating each of the people who are taking that step in love, in hope, in a new era of equality, right here from my living room.

I tried to be a lot more personally involved. I volunteered to perfom civil wedding ceremonies for the county clerk's office here because they are expecting more of an increase than the current staff can handle. I got all the information I needed to become a deputy marriage commissioner, but they held the training and swearing-in on a day I couldn't get there, much to my disappointment. I'm hoping there'll be another chance if they continue to need people and the anticipated challenges aren't successful.

And challenges there will be.

I'm not about to dive deeply into the whys and wherefores and my thoughts on people who see this as some sort of threat to them, their lives, their religion or whatever other reasons they hold, and will seek to go backwards. I'm not a part of the gay and lesbian community, I can't speak about it in a meaningful way other than to say how I feel; there are many others you can look to for more than that.

But to those of you who will mount these challenges or seek to support them: I disagree with you, with all my heart, and will be here to rise to that challenge.

It's people like me who will be standing there on the other side of the line you'll draw, engaging in the fight you'll bring, making sure we're heard just as loudly, just as strongly in numbers, if perhaps with less vitriol. Because, to me, your reasons are about intolerance, inequality, unfounded fear and, because it's the opposite of love, hate. If standing against those things isn't worthwhile, I'm not sure exactly what is.