As I write this, I'm sitting in the hospital, next to my mother's bed. She has dozed off but I can tell after many, many hours of watching her sleep that she's only sleeping lightly and can be wakened with little effort. She has become a champion sleeper during her time in the hospital (then the skilled nursing facility, then the hospital once again); you have to be to get any rest with all the noise and interruptions a hospital brings. I've seen her sleep through blood draws. It's really quite impressive.
I just wish this were a skill she hadn't had to develop. She's tired of being in the hospital. She's tired of the needle pokes, vitals checks, blood sugar tests, IV flushes, bed repositionings, med distributions, ultrasounds, procedures, catheter adjustments, blood transfusions, nursing shift changes, doctor drop-ins and, of course, hospital food. I'm tired of all these things for her, too, because it's hard to watch her endure them day in and day out. (Although I think the food is better than she does.)
And we're not done yet. I've been hesitant to detail exactly what has been going on with her for a couple reasons. 1) I wasn't ready for all the questions; sometimes I don't do well when a lot of questions are thrown my way. After a while, I start to get defensive -- it's a personality flaw I'm aware of and it's one I'm trying to get past. So bring on any questions. If it doesn't violate her privacy, I'll do my best to answer it. 2) Then there is, you guessed it, her privacy. If you've been reading here for any time at all, you may have realized that I don't talk about super-personal things here. I don't fault bloggers who do use their spaces in that way, it just wasn't ever what it was about for me. I figured that if I don't talk about my own personal health issues here for the most part, how could I talk about hers? But her health issues are about to change my and my entire family's life in significant and unavoidable ways. Now that this time is here -- it has always been in the offing, but we've been keeping it at bay best we could -- it's now part of my life and this blog has always been about my life, in one way or another. So it's relevant and it's what I need to write about. 3) It wasn't certain what was going to happen. She has a lot of medical concerns and it wasn't clear which one was going to "get" her first. I think perhaps I felt like not defining things here kept them nebulous enough to avoid dwelling on them. Does that constitute denial? I'm not sure.
As I alluded to in my last post, Round 2 is here and it's time to take it on. My mom has had Type II diabetes for decades. This has caused a myriad of medical problems for her, especially over the last decade. The most problematic has been her circulation, especially in her legs, and she has had: two femoral bypasses, one in each leg; surgery on her carotid artery to unblock it; two heart catherterizations that have resulted in multiple stents being put in her heart; multiple laser eye surgeries to stop bleeding in her retina; the onset of congestive heart failure; foot ulcers and dry gangrene; and the amputation of four of the toes on her left foot. She has also been on the brink of kidney failure for about a year, which has required blood tests every two weeks for that time, and we know that dialysis is almost certainly in her future. Another round for another day...or year.
She has come through each of these things, some more easily than others, with a lot of effort, a lot of love, a lot of tears, a lot of pain and a lot of time. It does get harder each time, however, and though each was serious unto itself, life always went back to normal eventually. That's not going to happen this time.
Tomorrow morning my mom's right leg will be amputated above the knee and she will likely never walk again. Because of her age and weakened condition, she may not be able to get or adapt to a prosthesis, so we anticipate that she will be in a wheelchair from here on out. I hope that it will be one she can move herself, but she has little upper body strength so I am not sure that will be possible. (An electric one is, of course, an option but she has an aversion to them and they're a little too big to use in her condo.) I am her primary caretaker and while she has been the center of my life for the last year, this surgery will probably double the effort required to do pretty much anything and everything.
I will do the best I can, with a lot of help, but there's no doubt that it's going to be overwhelming at times, for all of us. My mom's biggest concern, as I imagine it is for most parents in this kind of situation, is that she is going to be a burden to us. I can't say absolutely that, at times, it won't be a burden; I think in part it depends on how you define "burden." I don't approach it as a burden, but I know that it is weighing on her mind so heavily that I worry it can affect her ability to recover and rehabilitate and I know that it is life-changing. The emotional part of it has been, and will be, very hard. But, to me, that's part of family. It just is.
Another part of family is knowing the best and worst parts of your family members, and how who they are affects who you become. Case in point: I know that my mom has always put us first, to the detriment of her own health. She was told in the mid-70s that her blood sugar was high and that she should just cut out sugary soda and other foods. This was right before we moved from California back east to New York and our lives were turned completely upside-down. We all switched to diet soda and kept right on going, trying to make the best out of some crappy circumstances for the duration of the 80s. Mom made sacrifices for us and was always there for us, working full time and taking care of us and the house, while putting up with two kids and a husband who had a boatload of his own problems. She dealt with money issues, worked day in and day out until retirement, got us both through college, became a widow, took in her two elderly aunts and nursed one through the ovarian cancer that eventually killed her, helped us move back to California (each of us moved out here at different times), packed up a huge house and sold it, and moved to California, too.
During most of that time, she ran on stress and adrenaline and didn't take great care of herself. She was too busy taking care of us to dwell on how she was feeling. I come from a family of stoics, and she learned those lessons well. Too well. In the late 80s/early 90s she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes and had to make significant dietary changes and start taking medicine. But really, it was too late and the damage had already started to impact her health.
The consequences of not addressing her own well-being in favor of taking care of her family for all those years led us in a straight line to today, on the brink of major surgery that has her worried about how she will live the rest of her life and how it affects her children. It's this last part that has me shaking my head over the irony of the situation; this is far worse than if she had said no, we can't do that because I need a break, or you're going to have to skip that birthday party because I need to attend a class on nutrition, or I'm not going to be able to take you to the mall because I need to work out for hour or two. We would have been okay, if disappointed at that time -- or, okay, as teens we would have been devastated...for all of an hour -- but we also would have been better off for seeing our mom make her own mental and physical health a priority. This fear, this worry, this emotional draining now is so much harder than it might have otherwise been if she had said "no" to us and "yes" to herself just a little more often. I think it's this part that is more of a burden than any difficulty we will face as she learns to transition from a wheelchair into a bed: She loved us more than she loved herself and now she's paying a steep price for it.
Now it's time to go wake her up so she can have a last few drinks of water before it turns midnight and she's not allowed anything to eat or drink, pre-op. Tomorrow will be another stressful and emotional day. We'll get through it together, barring any of the many complications that could arise, and we'll be back here tomorrow night, with me watching her sleep and wondering about how the next day will go.
July 21, 2010
June 30, 2010
Ode to June
Hello June, you little minx. You crept in while I wasn't paying attention, snuck on past while I was otherwise occupied and whacked me in the ass before blasting off into July. So, you know, thanks for that.
This was definitely an interesting month, and not all in good ways. My mom has spent the last week plus in the hospital and it has been pretty damned stressful. But, like I said, she's one of my heroes and she's coming through it amazingly well. I do have to give my brother and myself credit for keeping her afloat and moving forward for a couple of those days, when it didn't seem that she had it in herself to do it. I'm hoping that, in the long run, she'll also see it as "keeping her afloat" and not "badgering." We can be pretty persuasive.
I learned a few things, though. I learned that I sure as hell hope that I have as a good a friend as my mom does in her decades-long friend, Pat, when I'm facing my mortality. That woman is in-cred-i-ble. I now call her "The Velvet Hammer." We may be persuasive but it's hard to stay objective when you're staring your mom's possible death straight in the face and I challenge you to do it without crying. Pat was like this calm voice of reason and compassion and straightforwardness, with emotion but not tears. She made me want to do whatever she told me to do! And she uses her power for good, not evil.
I also learned (again) how much I enjoy my cousin Michael's company. He came in pretty much as soon as he heard what was going on, and it was so comforting to have him here. We are a really small family, but what we lack in size, we apparently make up for in...I don't know...awesomeness when we all get together. At the very least, we crack each other up, even when we're all a little shell-shocked by the goings-on.
On the other hand, I also learned that, as sad and devastated as we will be when the day comes that Mom isn't able to rally one more time, my brother and I will be okay in the long run. Every time she was going in for some test or procedure (sure she wasn't going to make it), Mom would say, "You two take care of each other." And we're ready to do that. He's been pretty great and I hope that he thinks I have been throughout this, too. He's more likely to whack me with a soda bottle than ever tell me that, but I think I might be safe in thinking that.
The last thing I learned is that having friends who are available to me online is the most wonderful thing when you're in the middle of a personal crisis. I reached out and they were there. Every. Single. Time. People can make fun of social media, and Twitter in particular, all they want but at the end of the day, they can kiss my ass. It was one of the biggest comforts imaginable.
So, bring it on July. I'm ready for Round 2.
This was definitely an interesting month, and not all in good ways. My mom has spent the last week plus in the hospital and it has been pretty damned stressful. But, like I said, she's one of my heroes and she's coming through it amazingly well. I do have to give my brother and myself credit for keeping her afloat and moving forward for a couple of those days, when it didn't seem that she had it in herself to do it. I'm hoping that, in the long run, she'll also see it as "keeping her afloat" and not "badgering." We can be pretty persuasive.
I learned a few things, though. I learned that I sure as hell hope that I have as a good a friend as my mom does in her decades-long friend, Pat, when I'm facing my mortality. That woman is in-cred-i-ble. I now call her "The Velvet Hammer." We may be persuasive but it's hard to stay objective when you're staring your mom's possible death straight in the face and I challenge you to do it without crying. Pat was like this calm voice of reason and compassion and straightforwardness, with emotion but not tears. She made me want to do whatever she told me to do! And she uses her power for good, not evil.
I also learned (again) how much I enjoy my cousin Michael's company. He came in pretty much as soon as he heard what was going on, and it was so comforting to have him here. We are a really small family, but what we lack in size, we apparently make up for in...I don't know...awesomeness when we all get together. At the very least, we crack each other up, even when we're all a little shell-shocked by the goings-on.
On the other hand, I also learned that, as sad and devastated as we will be when the day comes that Mom isn't able to rally one more time, my brother and I will be okay in the long run. Every time she was going in for some test or procedure (sure she wasn't going to make it), Mom would say, "You two take care of each other." And we're ready to do that. He's been pretty great and I hope that he thinks I have been throughout this, too. He's more likely to whack me with a soda bottle than ever tell me that, but I think I might be safe in thinking that.
The last thing I learned is that having friends who are available to me online is the most wonderful thing when you're in the middle of a personal crisis. I reached out and they were there. Every. Single. Time. People can make fun of social media, and Twitter in particular, all they want but at the end of the day, they can kiss my ass. It was one of the biggest comforts imaginable.
So, bring it on July. I'm ready for Round 2.
May 25, 2010
Go Fish
Pre-post thoughts: Oh my poor, much-neglected blog. You really got the short end of the stick, getting me for an owner/writer. You probably deserve better. But then, what have you done for me lately? Apart, that is, from taunting me from afar, reminding me how lacking I am. No, you wouldn't do that, would you? Only my own conscience gets to do that. And, let me assure you, it does it quite frequently. Which is probably part of the problem. I feel like I'm constantly being reminded of all the things I have to do, things I should do, things that people want me to do, things that are expected of me, and sometimes that just makes me rebel. Authority issues, much? OK, enough. Either do it or don't. Fish or cut bait. Got it? Got it.
April completely got away from me. On April 30th, at around 11:55pm, I thought, "Oh, I really should post something tonight, or it will have been a month without posts, and I've been trying to be better about that." This was quickly followed by the thought, "Oh, fuck it. It's my blog and I don't feel like it." I think it's safe to say that I have that kind of internal dialogue relatively often. I know that I need more discipline -- I've been writing one particular blog post in my head since March, right after my last one -- but I suppose I lack the motivation to dig down and find it.
I think now would be a good time to go back and take a look at my list of things I want to do this year, as I have actually made some progress on it.
List 1: My Goals For The Upcoming Year - In Progress
That brings us to my latest list, which I wrangled with for a long time back in, oh, February. (I have discovered, by the way, that these kinds of lists really tax my memory and creativity. When people ask me questions along the line of "What's your favorite [fill in the blank]?" my mind tends to totally freeze up. I never really realized that about myself before embarking on this list thing.) These are the people whom I consider to be my heroes, in no particular order.
List 2: My Heroes
April completely got away from me. On April 30th, at around 11:55pm, I thought, "Oh, I really should post something tonight, or it will have been a month without posts, and I've been trying to be better about that." This was quickly followed by the thought, "Oh, fuck it. It's my blog and I don't feel like it." I think it's safe to say that I have that kind of internal dialogue relatively often. I know that I need more discipline -- I've been writing one particular blog post in my head since March, right after my last one -- but I suppose I lack the motivation to dig down and find it.
I think now would be a good time to go back and take a look at my list of things I want to do this year, as I have actually made some progress on it.
List 1: My Goals For The Upcoming Year - In Progress
Take another trip to Los Angeles to visit friends(I went in May)
- Find or create a job that I can stand (No luck as of yet)
Get a new blog design(What I did is all that will be done this year)
- Put together a disaster-preparedness kit (Nope)
- Blog more regularly (Clearly, no)
Find a volunteer position(The library gig, still enjoying that)Complete some cross-stitch projects(Got 3 completed!)
- Pare down my possessions (Uh...no)
- Drink more wine (Some progress here, but not much)
- Take more photos and organize them (Taking them, yes; organizing them, no.)
- Watch as many of the movies that "everyone" has seen that I haven't (2 down, many to go)
That brings us to my latest list, which I wrangled with for a long time back in, oh, February. (I have discovered, by the way, that these kinds of lists really tax my memory and creativity. When people ask me questions along the line of "What's your favorite [fill in the blank]?" my mind tends to totally freeze up. I never really realized that about myself before embarking on this list thing.) These are the people whom I consider to be my heroes, in no particular order.
List 2: My Heroes
- My mom
- Mother Teresa
- Nelson Mandela
- Doc Hendley
- Rex Stout
- Rosa Parks
- Lieutenant Dan Choi
- Anissa Mayhew
- Barack Obama
- His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
March 13, 2010
A Moment In San Francisco
Not a half hour ago I was ruminating on how crappy I've been doing with keeping up on the lists thing, and with blogging in general. I saw another Listography book in the gift store of SFMOMA, which I'd just finished visiting for the first time, and I told myself I could NOT buy it because I'm not doing a good enough job with the one I have.
The thought of that was not enough to make me rush back to the hotel and do a post, but on the way back by bus something happened and all I could think about was, "I have to write about this." I don't even know why, other than it was just bizarre. I'm going to write it as I heard it, and you have to know that going in because the language is not what I would use myself. Read that as "WARNING, UNPLEASANT AND OBJECTIONABLE LANGUAGE AHEAD!" and do not bitch at me in the comments for it. (In other words, stop here if it's going to bother you, m'kay?)
I've been in and out of San Francisco all week and I've depended on public transit to get around because it's just too expensive for cabs, I can only walk so much and street parking is just a nightmare 95% of the time. So I've got a pretty basic handle on the system and feel comfortable taking it solo. In the back of my mind is always the recent spate of fights on the Muni system, recorded by omnipresent cell phones, that I've seen on the news, but so far, so good.
I got on the bus near the museum and was happy to find it uncrowded enough to grab a seat. The next stop, however, brought in what I immediately pegged (perhaps unfairly, perhaps not) as the Obligatory Bus Crazy Person and he set up shop right in the exit doorway, announcing as he boarded that we all needed to move because, "A black guy is getting on...and I've got a big dick. You all need to make room." You will perhaps understand my trepidation? Yes? Good, because it gets better.
He started complaining about the "nasty Chinese people" at the front of the bus who apparently wouldn't let some kids sit down. He continued rambling on, loudly, but apart from a few more "nasty ass" type things, I tuned him out.
The next stop brought in a flood of people and pretty much maxed out the bus. As people filtered back, it got crowded and two guys ended up next to the OBCP. One of them must have gotten that little bit too close because OBCP started making more noise and telling one of the two guys to move his ass. The young man, who was Asian American, was startled and asked if he was talking to him. "Yes, I mean you. Move yo' ass! I don't wanna be bumping asses with you, nigga! If I wanted to touch yo' ass, nigga, I'd reach out and grab it." Grumble grumble grumble.
I glanced over at the Asian woman sitting next to me and she kind of smirked back with shared amusement briefly, before turning away to distance herself from the situation. The young Asian American man moved as much as he could, smiled at his friend wryly and said, "I love the bus."
OBCP didn't like that. "Yeah, you love the bus. You love ass. Don't you bump asses with me nigga. If you was a white bitch, I'd do it. But you ain't, nigga." Grumble grumble grumble.
I realized that my stop was coming up soon and OBCP was between me and the exit. I wondered if I should say, "A white bitch wants to get off, please," but decided that wouldn't be all that wise. I stood up as the bus was coming to a stop, and the other young man moved aside for me. I quietly said, "Careful, you don't want to bump asses!" while smiling my thanks. He smiled back and let me step around him.
Just as I moved past him, OBCP saw me and it was like someone flipped a switch. He went from slightly crazy black man to a proper Southern gentleman. "You gettin' off here, ma'am? Here you go, sister." He moved aside and continued, "God bless you, ma'am, you have a nice evening." Astonished, I replied, "Thank you, sir, you too." (Sir? Sir!? Where the hell did that come from?) I moved down the stairs and off the bus, and as the doors shut behind me -- not letting anyone else on, much to the annoyance of the waiting riders -- I was just flabbergasted at how his demeanor had changed and how surreal my (otherwise dreaded) exchange with him was.
I walked away toward the hotel, thinking, "I have to write about this!" the whole time. I guess you never know when a blog post is going to hit you right between your normally-Politically-Correct eyes.
The thought of that was not enough to make me rush back to the hotel and do a post, but on the way back by bus something happened and all I could think about was, "I have to write about this." I don't even know why, other than it was just bizarre. I'm going to write it as I heard it, and you have to know that going in because the language is not what I would use myself. Read that as "WARNING, UNPLEASANT AND OBJECTIONABLE LANGUAGE AHEAD!" and do not bitch at me in the comments for it. (In other words, stop here if it's going to bother you, m'kay?)
I've been in and out of San Francisco all week and I've depended on public transit to get around because it's just too expensive for cabs, I can only walk so much and street parking is just a nightmare 95% of the time. So I've got a pretty basic handle on the system and feel comfortable taking it solo. In the back of my mind is always the recent spate of fights on the Muni system, recorded by omnipresent cell phones, that I've seen on the news, but so far, so good.
I got on the bus near the museum and was happy to find it uncrowded enough to grab a seat. The next stop, however, brought in what I immediately pegged (perhaps unfairly, perhaps not) as the Obligatory Bus Crazy Person and he set up shop right in the exit doorway, announcing as he boarded that we all needed to move because, "A black guy is getting on...and I've got a big dick. You all need to make room." You will perhaps understand my trepidation? Yes? Good, because it gets better.
He started complaining about the "nasty Chinese people" at the front of the bus who apparently wouldn't let some kids sit down. He continued rambling on, loudly, but apart from a few more "nasty ass" type things, I tuned him out.
The next stop brought in a flood of people and pretty much maxed out the bus. As people filtered back, it got crowded and two guys ended up next to the OBCP. One of them must have gotten that little bit too close because OBCP started making more noise and telling one of the two guys to move his ass. The young man, who was Asian American, was startled and asked if he was talking to him. "Yes, I mean you. Move yo' ass! I don't wanna be bumping asses with you, nigga! If I wanted to touch yo' ass, nigga, I'd reach out and grab it." Grumble grumble grumble.
I glanced over at the Asian woman sitting next to me and she kind of smirked back with shared amusement briefly, before turning away to distance herself from the situation. The young Asian American man moved as much as he could, smiled at his friend wryly and said, "I love the bus."
OBCP didn't like that. "Yeah, you love the bus. You love ass. Don't you bump asses with me nigga. If you was a white bitch, I'd do it. But you ain't, nigga." Grumble grumble grumble.
I realized that my stop was coming up soon and OBCP was between me and the exit. I wondered if I should say, "A white bitch wants to get off, please," but decided that wouldn't be all that wise. I stood up as the bus was coming to a stop, and the other young man moved aside for me. I quietly said, "Careful, you don't want to bump asses!" while smiling my thanks. He smiled back and let me step around him.
Just as I moved past him, OBCP saw me and it was like someone flipped a switch. He went from slightly crazy black man to a proper Southern gentleman. "You gettin' off here, ma'am? Here you go, sister." He moved aside and continued, "God bless you, ma'am, you have a nice evening." Astonished, I replied, "Thank you, sir, you too." (Sir? Sir!? Where the hell did that come from?) I moved down the stairs and off the bus, and as the doors shut behind me -- not letting anyone else on, much to the annoyance of the waiting riders -- I was just flabbergasted at how his demeanor had changed and how surreal my (otherwise dreaded) exchange with him was.
I walked away toward the hotel, thinking, "I have to write about this!" the whole time. I guess you never know when a blog post is going to hit you right between your normally-Politically-Correct eyes.
February 25, 2010
I Have A Spine...Sometimes I Just Choose Not To Use It
So, BlogHer '10. From the minute it was announced in Chicago that it was going to be in New York, I was pretty much set against going.
Why? Four words: New York. In August.
If you don't understand why that was my rationale you have either a) not been in New York in August or b) are one of those slightly insane people who actually enjoy stultifying heat and humidity. There is a reason they were able to get an entire hotel in NYC for an entire weekend in August, folks...all the sane people leave the city that time of year!
I've spent the last six months going back and forth, back and forth on whether or not to go. One day I was thinking, "Hell no!" Then it was more, "Well, maybe it might not be that bad." Then back to, "Oh, HELL no! What are you thinking?!" And so on. February ratcheted up the intensity as early-bird pricing comes to an end at the last of the month. All these people that I would like to see start confirming that they're going. And I get more...let's call it "encouragement" instead of "coercion"...to go, from multiple quarters.
Now, if I truly don't want to do something, there's very little that will convince me to do it. But I am aware that I'm easily influenced when it comes to things that I sorta/kinda actually want to do, and I think the influencers in this case pretty much know that. And they went to work. In concert. And with gusto.
The other day I decided that, if I'm going to go, I sure as heck am going to get the lower-priced ticket. So I bought a ticket, knowing that I can sell it later if I need to; this thing always sells out and there are always people looking for tickets at the last minute. That was the first step down the slippery slope.
I'll spare you the rest of the slipping and sliding. I've decided to go. I've got a ticket and a roommate and a slate of people I'm looking forward to hanging out with. All that remains is the plane ticket. I will make the same caveat as I did last year that there's a very good chance I won't leave the hotel the whole time because of the weather without a lot of whining. Because no one wants to hear that, right? But you have been forewarned!
Why? Four words: New York. In August.
If you don't understand why that was my rationale you have either a) not been in New York in August or b) are one of those slightly insane people who actually enjoy stultifying heat and humidity. There is a reason they were able to get an entire hotel in NYC for an entire weekend in August, folks...all the sane people leave the city that time of year!
I've spent the last six months going back and forth, back and forth on whether or not to go. One day I was thinking, "Hell no!" Then it was more, "Well, maybe it might not be that bad." Then back to, "Oh, HELL no! What are you thinking?!" And so on. February ratcheted up the intensity as early-bird pricing comes to an end at the last of the month. All these people that I would like to see start confirming that they're going. And I get more...let's call it "encouragement" instead of "coercion"...to go, from multiple quarters.
Now, if I truly don't want to do something, there's very little that will convince me to do it. But I am aware that I'm easily influenced when it comes to things that I sorta/kinda actually want to do, and I think the influencers in this case pretty much know that. And they went to work. In concert. And with gusto.
The other day I decided that, if I'm going to go, I sure as heck am going to get the lower-priced ticket. So I bought a ticket, knowing that I can sell it later if I need to; this thing always sells out and there are always people looking for tickets at the last minute. That was the first step down the slippery slope.
I'll spare you the rest of the slipping and sliding. I've decided to go. I've got a ticket and a roommate and a slate of people I'm looking forward to hanging out with. All that remains is the plane ticket. I will make the same caveat as I did last year that there's a very good chance I won't leave the hotel the whole time because of the weather without a lot of whining. Because no one wants to hear that, right? But you have been forewarned!
February 21, 2010
Winter Bloom
The camellias in this part of California always signal that winter is coming to an end soon. I liked this perky one that recently opened near the house.
I could spend hours taking pictures of flowers. I don't even know if anyone else enjoys the pictures as much as I do, but hey, the first person you need to make happy is you, right?
February 12, 2010
Was A "Social Lie" Called For?
As many of you know, over the Christmas holiday I had a part-time job at a chocolate shop. It had been a dream of mine since I was a little girl to one day work for this chocolate shop company. I not only got to live that dream, I got to live it in the very store that had inspired me as a child.
Recently, they called me back to work there again for the upcoming Valentine's Day rush. I said yes and, as I'm currently an employee there, I'd prefer not to mention the name of the company here just yet. You probably know and that's fine; let's just see if we can avoid mentioning it in the comments, m'kay? ;-)
I worked last night for a few hours and had a moment that left me questioning my response to a customer query. Now, customers ask me a LOT of questions during each and every shift (when I'm no longer working there, I plan to write about some of them) and because a high level of interaction is required, I turn into the perkiest, chattiest Cathy you ever did see. So not me in general, but it's kind of part of the role. I'm used to being questioned and responding in a friendly manner and tonight was no exception. The question this time was a first for me, though.
A nice man (who had been kind enough to let an older lady go first because he was indecisive about what to get), who I would say is around my age, was ordering his candy and I was getting it bagged for him. I think he asked a question or two about what kind of boxes were available and it was a pleasant interaction. Then he smiled and asked, "It must be really hard for your other half to get you something special for Valentine's Day when you work in a chocolate shop, huh?" I didn't really think about it too much, I just replied honestly, smiling, "Well, if I had another half then, yes, it might be difficult for him!"
At least two of the ladies in line visibly cringed and one said, "Ohhhh..." in an "Ooh, you stepped in it, mister," kind of way. I could tell that he didn't really know what to say for a moment, so I continued on in an attempt to mitigate his embarrassment, "But then, I love getting chocolate so it really wouldn't be all that hard!" I kept smiling and finished the transaction. He recovered and was smiling again when he left.
I was left to wonder if being honest (but pleasant) wasn't the right move in this case, however. Because while I didn't mean to put him on the spot, he was making a common assumption I encounter all the time: Coupled, until proven otherwise. I'm used to setting the record straight, so it came naturally and there was no ill will intended in my answer. Now I'm thinking, however, that it wasn't actually meant as a personal question -- it was really just like the ones I get all the time along the lines of "Oh, how can you stand to work here without eating chocolate all the time?!?" -- so perhaps I should have just played it off with a laughing, "Oh, it is!" or something similar.
Was the so-called "social lie" called for in this case? What do you think?
Recently, they called me back to work there again for the upcoming Valentine's Day rush. I said yes and, as I'm currently an employee there, I'd prefer not to mention the name of the company here just yet. You probably know and that's fine; let's just see if we can avoid mentioning it in the comments, m'kay? ;-)
I worked last night for a few hours and had a moment that left me questioning my response to a customer query. Now, customers ask me a LOT of questions during each and every shift (when I'm no longer working there, I plan to write about some of them) and because a high level of interaction is required, I turn into the perkiest, chattiest Cathy you ever did see. So not me in general, but it's kind of part of the role. I'm used to being questioned and responding in a friendly manner and tonight was no exception. The question this time was a first for me, though.
A nice man (who had been kind enough to let an older lady go first because he was indecisive about what to get), who I would say is around my age, was ordering his candy and I was getting it bagged for him. I think he asked a question or two about what kind of boxes were available and it was a pleasant interaction. Then he smiled and asked, "It must be really hard for your other half to get you something special for Valentine's Day when you work in a chocolate shop, huh?" I didn't really think about it too much, I just replied honestly, smiling, "Well, if I had another half then, yes, it might be difficult for him!"
At least two of the ladies in line visibly cringed and one said, "Ohhhh..." in an "Ooh, you stepped in it, mister," kind of way. I could tell that he didn't really know what to say for a moment, so I continued on in an attempt to mitigate his embarrassment, "But then, I love getting chocolate so it really wouldn't be all that hard!" I kept smiling and finished the transaction. He recovered and was smiling again when he left.
I was left to wonder if being honest (but pleasant) wasn't the right move in this case, however. Because while I didn't mean to put him on the spot, he was making a common assumption I encounter all the time: Coupled, until proven otherwise. I'm used to setting the record straight, so it came naturally and there was no ill will intended in my answer. Now I'm thinking, however, that it wasn't actually meant as a personal question -- it was really just like the ones I get all the time along the lines of "Oh, how can you stand to work here without eating chocolate all the time?!?" -- so perhaps I should have just played it off with a laughing, "Oh, it is!" or something similar.
Was the so-called "social lie" called for in this case? What do you think?
January 30, 2010
We Have A Winner!
So today was the big day; the guesses were all in and tallied last night so all that remained was to see how much money was actually in Mr. Donkey. He and I went off to a local supermarket with a Coinstar machine to get ourselves a winner. There's time for a quick picture to set the stage.
Then it was time to disgorge his contents and see what we had to be counted. He didn't give it up easily, I must say, as I had a hell of a time getting the plug out. [Insert your own joke here.] It took a little more effort to get all the coins out, but finally the silver started flowing.
I selected the UNICEF Haiti Emergency Fund and got the confirmation screen.
We took a look at what we had to offer before starting the big count, then I started to feed the coins into the machine. I was a little giddy with anticipation because I couldn't wait to see how much was actually in there. (If you think I knew, I didn't. There was no way I was going to count all that myself if the machine was going to do it for me.)
The machine went clicky, clicky, clicky, clack for a while, doing its tallying and totaling. At first it looked to me like there wasn't going to be as much as I'd hoped, but then it started to get caught up and when it stopped, this is what the screen said:
Much to my surprise, someone guessed the total on the button: Duchess!! You are the big winner, my pregnant friend! I will send your prize pack off to you as soon as possible.
Thank you to everyone who participated. I had so much fun putting this together and watching the guesses come in. And a special thank you to the good folks at Coinstar, who got involved and tweeted about the giveaway, then very generously donated some gift certificate love (Can you say iTunes, friends?) that will appear in a future giveaway. This was my best blogoversary yet and you have energized me for the year ahead.
I think he's waving, but it was hard to tell.
Resigned to his fate.
Then it was time to disgorge his contents and see what we had to be counted. He didn't give it up easily, I must say, as I had a hell of a time getting the plug out. [Insert your own joke here.] It took a little more effort to get all the coins out, but finally the silver started flowing.
A little privacy, please.
I selected the UNICEF Haiti Emergency Fund and got the confirmation screen.
We took a look at what we had to offer before starting the big count, then I started to feed the coins into the machine. I was a little giddy with anticipation because I couldn't wait to see how much was actually in there. (If you think I knew, I didn't. There was no way I was going to count all that myself if the machine was going to do it for me.)
Is it just me or does he look a little sad at this point?
The machine went clicky, clicky, clicky, clack for a while, doing its tallying and totaling. At first it looked to me like there wasn't going to be as much as I'd hoped, but then it started to get caught up and when it stopped, this is what the screen said:
Much to my surprise, someone guessed the total on the button: Duchess!! You are the big winner, my pregnant friend! I will send your prize pack off to you as soon as possible.
Thank you to everyone who participated. I had so much fun putting this together and watching the guesses come in. And a special thank you to the good folks at Coinstar, who got involved and tweeted about the giveaway, then very generously donated some gift certificate love (Can you say iTunes, friends?) that will appear in a future giveaway. This was my best blogoversary yet and you have energized me for the year ahead.
January 27, 2010
Ping: My Boy Finn
It has been a long time since I've done any catblogging (and some of you *cough* Kathy *cough* are probably peachy-keen with that oversight). But when I had my camera out last week to take pictures of Mr. Donkey, I snapped a few shots of Finn and thought I'd share one.
He still hates having his picture taken, almost as much as me, so it wasn't easy to get him to look at me. I have to play on his inability to ignore my little clicky noises for long. He's gotten really big (that vet who told me he'd be "a big boy" sure knew what she was talking about!) but there's still that same kissable nose and chewable ears. He puts up with me accosting him on a daily basis because I can't resist snatching him up for a snuggle or two. But then, I am The Mighty Holder of the Food.
He still hates having his picture taken, almost as much as me, so it wasn't easy to get him to look at me. I have to play on his inability to ignore my little clicky noises for long. He's gotten really big (that vet who told me he'd be "a big boy" sure knew what she was talking about!) but there's still that same kissable nose and chewable ears. He puts up with me accosting him on a daily basis because I can't resist snatching him up for a snuggle or two. But then, I am The Mighty Holder of the Food.
January 24, 2010
Play That Funky Music, White Girl
I went out last night with friends and had a great time. There was sushi and sake, beer and darts; it could hardly have been better. During the course of the evening, the idea of going dancing sometime in the future came up. Half of us were in favor of it, half of us weren't. I fell into the "not in favor" camp.
It's not that I hate dancing, it's just that I'm not all that good at it, I don't enjoy it much and it's not something I look forward to doing. Weddings are pretty much it, and I haven't been to one of those in years. I do, however, really enjoy a lot of dance music. Someone pointed out a few years ago that the songs I turn up on the car radio are almost all dance tunes, yet I don't want to go dancing. True. I'm also that person at a concert who's pissed when the person(s) in front of me to stand and dance the ENTIRE time the musicians are performing. I am paying to see the musicians and hear their music, not watch someone's lame-ass dancing in three feet of space. There, I said it. If you're that person, I'm sorry, but that's how I (and some other people, I know for a fact) feel.
But I digress. When this week's list came up, "List your favorite dance songs," I had to really think about it. I think of songs as just ones I love, in general; I don't necessarily divide them into categories like that. So here, for your ridiculing pleasure, is my latest list, in no particular order.
List 4: My Favorite Dance Songs
It's not that I hate dancing, it's just that I'm not all that good at it, I don't enjoy it much and it's not something I look forward to doing. Weddings are pretty much it, and I haven't been to one of those in years. I do, however, really enjoy a lot of dance music. Someone pointed out a few years ago that the songs I turn up on the car radio are almost all dance tunes, yet I don't want to go dancing. True. I'm also that person at a concert who's pissed when the person(s) in front of me to stand and dance the ENTIRE time the musicians are performing. I am paying to see the musicians and hear their music, not watch someone's lame-ass dancing in three feet of space. There, I said it. If you're that person, I'm sorry, but that's how I (and some other people, I know for a fact) feel.
But I digress. When this week's list came up, "List your favorite dance songs," I had to really think about it. I think of songs as just ones I love, in general; I don't necessarily divide them into categories like that. So here, for your ridiculing pleasure, is my latest list, in no particular order.
List 4: My Favorite Dance Songs
- Crazy in Love - Beyoncé
- Push It - Salt-N-Pepa
- Let's Go Crazy - Prince
- Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
- Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
- Vogue - Madonna
- Brick House - Commodores
- Fergalicious - Fergie
- Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado
- Love Shack - The B-52s
January 22, 2010
A Blogoversary Giveaway!
One Ping Only turns six today! Sometimes it feel like it has been forever, but other times it feels like it has been no time at all. I'm not going to wax poetic about it, I'll just say thanks to those of you who have been a part of it during some or all of that time. It means a lot to me, especially your comments (yes, Ben, I do put a lot of stock in the commenting!) and the fact that you are supportive even when I'm spotty on regular posting. OK, on to the fun part!
To celebrate the blogoversary, I'm doing a little giveaway. I'll be sending to one winner the following:
Here's the deal: It's a simple affair, no requirement to tweet about it (though if you wish to, you're certainly welcome to); subscribe (again, unless you'd like to), write an essay or otherwise turn cartwheels. All you have to do is submit a guess in the comments, in the form of a dollar amount, as to how much money you think is in this bank:
Though he looks like a hippo, the fine people of Target said he's a donkey. So, it's a donkey bank.
I love banks and I have probably too many of them. I put all my change in them -- my rule is that if any coin makes it to my room in my pants pockets at the end of the day, it goes in a bank -- with one for just pennies and one for silver coins. Mr. Donkey there is the one with silver coins. Usually when he fills up, I take them all out and wrap them up and bring them to the bank for a little mad money.
He's almost full and instead of saving the money, I'm going to take Mr. Donkey to a Coinstar machine when the entry time is over and his contents will be tallied up and donated to the UNICEF Haiti Emergency Fund in honor of the person who can guess how much he holds. To give you some perspective on the size of the bank, here he is posing in front of my laptop next to a soda can. (That is not an ad for Dell, by the way, I just needed a clean background!)
What I'm looking for is a guess of the total that will appear when his contents are emptied into the Coinstar machine. Because there's only silver coins inside, the total will be to the nearest nickel. The person whose guess in the comments is closest to that total wins -- that's it! If two guesses are the same distance away from the correct amount, the person with the guess under the total will win. I was going to limit it to North America, but what the hell, it's only postage, right? (However, I don't think the Starbucks card can be used outside the U.S. so I'd have to leave that out. That would go to the next-closest person in the U.S.) Comments with a guess must be submitted by 11:59pm PST on January 29, 2010 to be eligible.
Let me be clear: This money is getting donated to this cause even if no one enters. I just don't like random number generators all that much and picking names from a hat is a lot of work -- I did it once and that was enough. I thought this would at least be a different way of picking a winner! Also, I have no idea how much is in there; I'll find out when the total shows up on the screen, which I'll take a picture of to share here.
So help me celebrate my blog's anniversary with a little fun and a little giving; two things I believe in greatly.
To celebrate the blogoversary, I'm doing a little giveaway. I'll be sending to one winner the following:
- A copy of My Life. My Loves. My Lists. (For you to do your own lists this year)
- A $20 Starbucks card (Or Peet's or the like, if you'd prefer)
- The new Norah Jones CD, The Fall (I'm loving listening to it right now.)
- Two single-serve packets of Nutella (In honor of my friends who are big Nutella fans)
- A six-pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (Don't need to explain those, do I?)
- A donation in your honor to the UNICEF Haiti Emergency Fund (Keep reading for info on that one)
Here's the deal: It's a simple affair, no requirement to tweet about it (though if you wish to, you're certainly welcome to); subscribe (again, unless you'd like to), write an essay or otherwise turn cartwheels. All you have to do is submit a guess in the comments, in the form of a dollar amount, as to how much money you think is in this bank:
Though he looks like a hippo, the fine people of Target said he's a donkey. So, it's a donkey bank.
I love banks and I have probably too many of them. I put all my change in them -- my rule is that if any coin makes it to my room in my pants pockets at the end of the day, it goes in a bank -- with one for just pennies and one for silver coins. Mr. Donkey there is the one with silver coins. Usually when he fills up, I take them all out and wrap them up and bring them to the bank for a little mad money.
He's almost full and instead of saving the money, I'm going to take Mr. Donkey to a Coinstar machine when the entry time is over and his contents will be tallied up and donated to the UNICEF Haiti Emergency Fund in honor of the person who can guess how much he holds. To give you some perspective on the size of the bank, here he is posing in front of my laptop next to a soda can. (That is not an ad for Dell, by the way, I just needed a clean background!)
What I'm looking for is a guess of the total that will appear when his contents are emptied into the Coinstar machine. Because there's only silver coins inside, the total will be to the nearest nickel. The person whose guess in the comments is closest to that total wins -- that's it! If two guesses are the same distance away from the correct amount, the person with the guess under the total will win. I was going to limit it to North America, but what the hell, it's only postage, right? (However, I don't think the Starbucks card can be used outside the U.S. so I'd have to leave that out. That would go to the next-closest person in the U.S.) Comments with a guess must be submitted by 11:59pm PST on January 29, 2010 to be eligible.
Let me be clear: This money is getting donated to this cause even if no one enters. I just don't like random number generators all that much and picking names from a hat is a lot of work -- I did it once and that was enough. I thought this would at least be a different way of picking a winner! Also, I have no idea how much is in there; I'll find out when the total shows up on the screen, which I'll take a picture of to share here.
So help me celebrate my blog's anniversary with a little fun and a little giving; two things I believe in greatly.
January 17, 2010
The People I Know
This week's list was an interesting one for me -- "List the children and babies that you know" -- because it goes right to the heart of a post that has been brewing for a while. The thing is, two years ago, here is how that list would have looked:
Would-be List 3 - Children and Babies I Know
List 3 - Children and Babies I Know
But it doesn't matter because I know them; their parents are my friends.
Some of their parents I have met in person, and some I haven't. And that doesn't matter, either.
I no longer distinguish my friends by how I know them. There is no "in real life/IRL" and "online" in my lexicon of friendship any more. None. It's gone. If people ask me to clarify who I'm talking about, I do, but my friendship with The Duchess or Kathy is no less meaningful to me than my friendship with someone I get to see more frequently (or ever) simply by virtue of location. The fact we've seen each other only once or haven't seen each other face-to-face is meaningless to me. That kind of thinking is outdated. How you meet and make a friend does not define that friendship anymore than the length of time you've known someone or their proximity to you defines a friendship. Friendship is far more complex than that and the Internet has broadened our friendship horizons exponentially.
I think some are threatened by that broadening of horizons, so they ridicule and resent the friendships their loved ones have with people they've met in a manner other than what they consider to be "real." One part of me is frustrated by this...and frustrated often. The other part of me feels bad for both my friends who encounter this and their loved ones, because the loved ones are limiting themselves and limiting their partners (or trying) when they feel threatened by what they don't understand. Many of these loved ones cite safety concerns and there are certainly some people online whose intentions are less than good. However, in the same way that the news scares us daily with cautionary tales of evildoing, whether online or in our neighborhood, not everyone can be painted with that same brush of fear or we'd never leave our houses. Doing so toward people who spend part of their lives online is simply another form of discrimination, as they're judging people they don't know based on one facet of those people.
I'm quite certain that these loved ones don't see it that way. I imagine they think they're looking out for their partners (and, by extension, their families) because they love them. What they don't realize, in my opinion, is that they're also trying to substitute their judgment for their partner's judgment to a large degree, and that doesn't honor their bond one bit. Most of us are not dumb enough to blindly trust the people we meet online. We all get taken in by people from time to time; it happens, it's part of life and it's by no means limited to "people from the Internet." When you spend time online, you learn to assess people by their presence there, the same way you assess people in your office or class when you have to decide who you can trust and who you can't. To make an assumption that someone means to harm or dupe your partner just because their connection isn't face-to-face is to question your partner's ability to make that kind of assessment.
It's also ignorant to think that if your partner meets someone at the club or a party or in the PTA, they will make a better friend than someone they met on Twitter. Who exactly do you think is on Twitter? It's the people at your grocery store and your gym, it's the people in your office and your softball league, it's the people living next door to you and across the street. They are, quite literally, as real as you are and denying that does no justice to your own common sense and no credit to your intellect.
I make a real effort to meet my friends in person whenever possible. It's important to me because of this distrust that some of their loved ones have about their "invisible friends" or "Twitter buddies." Sometimes I feel like I'm on a one-woman crusade to prove to them that we're not all actually 30 year-old men living in our parent's basement who pretend to be women online. It doesn't always work and my feelings on the subject have come between me at least one friend, which saddens me greatly. But it matters to me what their loved ones think because they are a major part of my friends' lives and I respect them for that role. It's not enjoyable to know they sometimes don't respect my role in their partner's life because of how they know me.
My life has been enriched immeasurably by the people I consider to be my friends, and I look forward to continue getting out there and spending time with them, their kids and their loved ones whenever possible. And when I can't, my days are made brighter by their presence on my laptop.
Would-be List 3 - Children and Babies I Know
- (None)
List 3 - Children and Babies I Know
- Aaron, Noah, Palmer and Vaughn
- Alison and Blythe
- Ava, Ben and Lily
- Bop and D
- Caroline and Thomas
- Dylan and Zach
- Finn and RJ
- Gee, Ess, Cue and Nate
- Jayne, Sejal and Raj
- Jenna
- Maddie and Binky
- Munchkin and Big Girl
- Sasha
- The Little Man
- The Monk and Swee'Pea
But it doesn't matter because I know them; their parents are my friends.
Some of their parents I have met in person, and some I haven't. And that doesn't matter, either.
I no longer distinguish my friends by how I know them. There is no "in real life/IRL" and "online" in my lexicon of friendship any more. None. It's gone. If people ask me to clarify who I'm talking about, I do, but my friendship with The Duchess or Kathy is no less meaningful to me than my friendship with someone I get to see more frequently (or ever) simply by virtue of location. The fact we've seen each other only once or haven't seen each other face-to-face is meaningless to me. That kind of thinking is outdated. How you meet and make a friend does not define that friendship anymore than the length of time you've known someone or their proximity to you defines a friendship. Friendship is far more complex than that and the Internet has broadened our friendship horizons exponentially.
I think some are threatened by that broadening of horizons, so they ridicule and resent the friendships their loved ones have with people they've met in a manner other than what they consider to be "real." One part of me is frustrated by this...and frustrated often. The other part of me feels bad for both my friends who encounter this and their loved ones, because the loved ones are limiting themselves and limiting their partners (or trying) when they feel threatened by what they don't understand. Many of these loved ones cite safety concerns and there are certainly some people online whose intentions are less than good. However, in the same way that the news scares us daily with cautionary tales of evildoing, whether online or in our neighborhood, not everyone can be painted with that same brush of fear or we'd never leave our houses. Doing so toward people who spend part of their lives online is simply another form of discrimination, as they're judging people they don't know based on one facet of those people.
I'm quite certain that these loved ones don't see it that way. I imagine they think they're looking out for their partners (and, by extension, their families) because they love them. What they don't realize, in my opinion, is that they're also trying to substitute their judgment for their partner's judgment to a large degree, and that doesn't honor their bond one bit. Most of us are not dumb enough to blindly trust the people we meet online. We all get taken in by people from time to time; it happens, it's part of life and it's by no means limited to "people from the Internet." When you spend time online, you learn to assess people by their presence there, the same way you assess people in your office or class when you have to decide who you can trust and who you can't. To make an assumption that someone means to harm or dupe your partner just because their connection isn't face-to-face is to question your partner's ability to make that kind of assessment.
It's also ignorant to think that if your partner meets someone at the club or a party or in the PTA, they will make a better friend than someone they met on Twitter. Who exactly do you think is on Twitter? It's the people at your grocery store and your gym, it's the people in your office and your softball league, it's the people living next door to you and across the street. They are, quite literally, as real as you are and denying that does no justice to your own common sense and no credit to your intellect.
I make a real effort to meet my friends in person whenever possible. It's important to me because of this distrust that some of their loved ones have about their "invisible friends" or "Twitter buddies." Sometimes I feel like I'm on a one-woman crusade to prove to them that we're not all actually 30 year-old men living in our parent's basement who pretend to be women online. It doesn't always work and my feelings on the subject have come between me at least one friend, which saddens me greatly. But it matters to me what their loved ones think because they are a major part of my friends' lives and I respect them for that role. It's not enjoyable to know they sometimes don't respect my role in their partner's life because of how they know me.
My life has been enriched immeasurably by the people I consider to be my friends, and I look forward to continue getting out there and spending time with them, their kids and their loved ones whenever possible. And when I can't, my days are made brighter by their presence on my laptop.
January 13, 2010
Making Progress
I've been taking my list of goals for the year seriously and I'm trying to be mindful of the items on it, in order to look for opportunities to advance them. (I think blogging three times this week -- so far -- is a fine example of that!) I realized that my blog anniversary is coming up, and it would be nice to have made progress on my "Get a new blog design" goal before then.
Last night I decided to take the plunge and made major changes to the layout. I figured that if I pay someone to do a full-blown re-design, I'll have to upgrade it on Blogger in any case, so might as well do that. I've been cobbling together bits and pieces of HTML on the original layout to keep things afloat for a couple years and it just gets harder and harder to make it what I want. That is simply not where my talents lie.
As you can see, if you've ever been here before, things look seriously different. I realize that it's not great just yet, there are still a lot of things that need to be tweaked. I'd let you tell me what you like or don't like, but the biggest problem I've encountered is that my comment function is not working with the new template. I'm sure it's an easy fix, but I haven't been able to puzzle it out on my own. I'm getting some help with it, but people have been coming to visit today and I wanted to thank you and apologize for not having comments working.
Because of this, I've added something now that I'd planned to add later: A link to me on Twitter. I've resisted doing that for a long time, but the reasons for doing so seem less relevant to me now. Twitter has become a huge part of my life and I want to integrate it into my blog. Over there to the right is a rather clunky-looking widget, which I hope to improve on, that will take you to my Twitter page. If you're not already following me there, I hope you'll come by and say hey. If you are, please feel free to leave your feedback there until I get the comments up and running. Because, let's face it, tweets are great but there's nothing to equal a comment left with a post.
So, technically, I've met the challenge of my goal because this definitely constitutes a "new blog design." But I'm not ready to cross it off because it's not the final version and it doesn't meet the spirit of the goal. So let's consider it to be struck through with a dotted line for the time being. I'll keep updating the progress over there in the Welcome message and I hope you'll come back to watch as things develop.
***UPDATE: For the moment, it's essentially back to the old template. But the header and comments are back up. (Thank you Emma!) But the Welcome message I mentioned is gone. This will be a work in progress. Thanks for your patience.***
Last night I decided to take the plunge and made major changes to the layout. I figured that if I pay someone to do a full-blown re-design, I'll have to upgrade it on Blogger in any case, so might as well do that. I've been cobbling together bits and pieces of HTML on the original layout to keep things afloat for a couple years and it just gets harder and harder to make it what I want. That is simply not where my talents lie.
As you can see, if you've ever been here before, things look seriously different. I realize that it's not great just yet, there are still a lot of things that need to be tweaked. I'd let you tell me what you like or don't like, but the biggest problem I've encountered is that my comment function is not working with the new template. I'm sure it's an easy fix, but I haven't been able to puzzle it out on my own. I'm getting some help with it, but people have been coming to visit today and I wanted to thank you and apologize for not having comments working.
Because of this, I've added something now that I'd planned to add later: A link to me on Twitter. I've resisted doing that for a long time, but the reasons for doing so seem less relevant to me now. Twitter has become a huge part of my life and I want to integrate it into my blog. Over there to the right is a rather clunky-looking widget, which I hope to improve on, that will take you to my Twitter page. If you're not already following me there, I hope you'll come by and say hey. If you are, please feel free to leave your feedback there until I get the comments up and running. Because, let's face it, tweets are great but there's nothing to equal a comment left with a post.
So, technically, I've met the challenge of my goal because this definitely constitutes a "new blog design." But I'm not ready to cross it off because it's not the final version and it doesn't meet the spirit of the goal. So let's consider it to be struck through with a dotted line for the time being. I'll keep updating the progress over there in the Welcome message and I hope you'll come back to watch as things develop.
***UPDATE: For the moment, it's essentially back to the old template. But the header and comments are back up. (Thank you Emma!) But the Welcome message I mentioned is gone. This will be a work in progress. Thanks for your patience.***
January 11, 2010
Now Showing: Movies I Missed
I was amused at how much I enjoyed writing and posting yesterday's entry. I suppose I shouldn't be; I know I'm a cyclical kind of person and the things I like to do wax and wane during a year.
But this morning I knew I needed to cross one thing off the list (already, yay!) and add one thing to it, seeing as how they're related.
Crossing off:Find a volunteer position
Adding: Watch as many of the movies that "everyone" has seen that I haven't
"How can these possibly be related?" you may ask. It's a fair question, but they actually are.
Since it was a list of goals for the year, I went ahead and included the finding of a volunteer position. In actuality, I'd already found one and it just started. I'm volunteering at a local library, doing one of my favorite things: looking for books and other library materials when they are requested by patrons. There's nothing I love more than a treasure hunt, and it's like a new treasure hunt every time I go. It's like a little win when I find a title that's on the "We've looked before but haven't found it" list, I must say.
Among the things I get to hunt down are videos (yes, there are still some) and DVDs. When I spent a little more time in the DVD section, I was amazed at how many recent movies were there, as well as many that have been in my "meaning to see" category for ages. That, of course, spawns another list. You might be surprised by some of the movies on it, but there are many popular movies that I don't go to see, especially if everyone is hyping it up. I'm also one of the few people in the country who doesn't use Netflix, or many of these would have been ones I'd have had in my queue and probably would have seen while I was waiting for the newer movies.
List 2: Movies I've Been Meaning To See
But this morning I knew I needed to cross one thing off the list (already, yay!) and add one thing to it, seeing as how they're related.
Crossing off:
Adding: Watch as many of the movies that "everyone" has seen that I haven't
"How can these possibly be related?" you may ask. It's a fair question, but they actually are.
Since it was a list of goals for the year, I went ahead and included the finding of a volunteer position. In actuality, I'd already found one and it just started. I'm volunteering at a local library, doing one of my favorite things: looking for books and other library materials when they are requested by patrons. There's nothing I love more than a treasure hunt, and it's like a new treasure hunt every time I go. It's like a little win when I find a title that's on the "We've looked before but haven't found it" list, I must say.
Among the things I get to hunt down are videos (yes, there are still some) and DVDs. When I spent a little more time in the DVD section, I was amazed at how many recent movies were there, as well as many that have been in my "meaning to see" category for ages. That, of course, spawns another list. You might be surprised by some of the movies on it, but there are many popular movies that I don't go to see, especially if everyone is hyping it up. I'm also one of the few people in the country who doesn't use Netflix, or many of these would have been ones I'd have had in my queue and probably would have seen while I was waiting for the newer movies.
List 2: Movies I've Been Meaning To See
- All About Eve
- Almost Famous
- Annie Hall
- Atonement
- Bonnie and Clyde
- Borat
- Breaking Away
- Brokeback Mountain
- Bullitt
- Burn After Reading
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
- Casino
- Chinatown (I tried to watch this once before, but I fell asleep)
- Cold Mountain
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Dr. Strangelove
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- Fame (original)
- Fast Times at Ridgemont High (I know, I know, but I haven't seen it)
- Finding Neverland
- Flags of Our Fathers
- Frost/Nixon
- Garden State
- Giant
- Glengarry Glen Ross
- The Godfather Part II
- Goodfellas
- Gorillas in the Mist
- Grand Hotel
- Harold and Maude
- Hotel Rwanda
- The Hustler
- An Inconvenient Truth
- Letters From Iwo Jima
- L.A. Confidential
- The Manchurian Candidate (original)
- Midnight Cowboy
- Michael Clayton
- Meet Me In St. Louis
- Monster's Ball
- Moonstruck
- Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
- Mulholland Drive
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Network
- An Officer and a Gentleman
- The Queen
- The Pianist
- The Producers (both versions)
- Ratatouille
- Ray
- Rebel Without a Cause
- Reservoir Dogs
- The Right Stuff
- Rushmore
- Saving Private Ryan
- Schindler's List
- Seven
- Slap Shot
- Some Like It Hot
- Taxi Driver
- Terms of Endearment
- This Is Spinal Tap
- To Kill a Mockingbird
- 12 Angry Men
- The Usual Suspects
- Young Frankenstein
January 10, 2010
The Year of Lists
Happy New Year! I figured that I'd let all the other bloggers do their new year posts first, so you wouldn't get overwhelmed.
OK, we both know that's a lie. As usual, I put it off because I don't do resolutions and I wasn't sure yet what I wanted to say for my first post of the year.
Finally, inspiration struck the other day, in Barnes & Noble, of all places. I took my mom there so she could get a 2010 calendar book for her appointments. B&N usually has so many and discounts them by 50% after Christmas/New Years, so we were hoping for a good buy. While she was perusing the selection (which was pretty thin by then, unfortunately), I checked out a few and hit gold. I found a rather unassuming-looking volume called Listography Weekly Calendar: Your Year In Lists.
I love lists. I think most people do. I don't make them as frequently or as predictably as some (e.g., the ubiquitous "My Top 10 List of the Year!"), but there's something incredibly satisfying about making and completing a list, some of the reasons for which I was amused to find here. The Listography calendar, while it serves as a conventional weekly planner, has the additional twist of giving you a topical list to complete each week, accompanied by a quirky illustration. As the back cover says, the lists "range from autobiographical to aspirational to holiday-specific" and I fell in love with the idea of the calendar guiding me to make lists to share here.
Because, let's face it, I'm not always good with the ol' follow-through here at The Ping. The only thing that I successfully did for an extended period of time was The Year of Living Generously, and even that had an element of failure because I felt I couldn't write about it after a certain point. (I did complete it, though, even after being laid off, and I'm pretty proud of that!)
The calendars topics are random enough to keep my interest (I'm hoping), amusing and relevant enough to make for some good posts (I'm really hoping), and already prepared so I won't have to struggle for a topic. The idea of that makes me a little giddy, I have to admit, so I'm encouraged that it's something I can stick with for a while.
As we've completed the first full week of our new year, it's time for the first list (hopefully the first of many!) in no particular order except as how they occurred to me.
List 1: My Goals For The Upcoming Year
OK, we both know that's a lie. As usual, I put it off because I don't do resolutions and I wasn't sure yet what I wanted to say for my first post of the year.
Finally, inspiration struck the other day, in Barnes & Noble, of all places. I took my mom there so she could get a 2010 calendar book for her appointments. B&N usually has so many and discounts them by 50% after Christmas/New Years, so we were hoping for a good buy. While she was perusing the selection (which was pretty thin by then, unfortunately), I checked out a few and hit gold. I found a rather unassuming-looking volume called Listography Weekly Calendar: Your Year In Lists.
I love lists. I think most people do. I don't make them as frequently or as predictably as some (e.g., the ubiquitous "My Top 10 List of the Year!"), but there's something incredibly satisfying about making and completing a list, some of the reasons for which I was amused to find here. The Listography calendar, while it serves as a conventional weekly planner, has the additional twist of giving you a topical list to complete each week, accompanied by a quirky illustration. As the back cover says, the lists "range from autobiographical to aspirational to holiday-specific" and I fell in love with the idea of the calendar guiding me to make lists to share here.
Because, let's face it, I'm not always good with the ol' follow-through here at The Ping. The only thing that I successfully did for an extended period of time was The Year of Living Generously, and even that had an element of failure because I felt I couldn't write about it after a certain point. (I did complete it, though, even after being laid off, and I'm pretty proud of that!)
The calendars topics are random enough to keep my interest (I'm hoping), amusing and relevant enough to make for some good posts (I'm really hoping), and already prepared so I won't have to struggle for a topic. The idea of that makes me a little giddy, I have to admit, so I'm encouraged that it's something I can stick with for a while.
As we've completed the first full week of our new year, it's time for the first list (hopefully the first of many!) in no particular order except as how they occurred to me.
List 1: My Goals For The Upcoming Year
- Take another trip to Los Angeles to visit friends
- Find or create a job that I can stand
- Get a new blog design
- Put together a disaster-preparedness kit
- Blog more regularly
- Find a volunteer position
- Complete some cross-stitch projects
- Pare down my possessions
- Drink more wine
- Take more photos and organize them
December 28, 2009
Hat In Hand, Doing A Little Begging
I realize that posting here has been nonexistent for a while now. I apologize if you've come by looking for something new and finding nothing but BFL picks. I've just been too tired and busy to be creative. I had a holiday job that took up a LOT of time and energy, and I plan to write about it, but I needed to take the Christmas break to rest up, especially as I started to come down with a cold the day before Christmas! I haven't left the house in three days now, and it was a good respite.
During that time, I had a decision to make. Not a terribly important one, but one that I went back and forth, back and forth on for a while. The commenting system I've used here since the start got bought by another company a while back and they decided that the day after Christmas was the last day I could use it without paying. If I did nothing, I'd lose all the comments I had. I could export them but I had zero idea how to do that successfully and zero energy to try to figure it out. Honestly, I felt a little like I was being held hostage.
The larger problem is that this blog, technologically speaking, is being held together by duct tape and bubble gum. The banner disappeared and it's on the oldest Blogger platform available, which tests my abilities any time I want to make a change. It needs a complete makeover, but I can't decide which direction to go, so I've just kept it in a holding pattern. I really need a blog guru but haven't spent the time finding one and can't really justify an expense for it right now, given that I have been pretty delinquent in keeping up with it!
So why am I writing now? After all my back-and-forthing I decided to pony up and not lose my comments until I can figure out the direction I want to go in here (and see if I can find someone to fix the joint up for me!). So while it's a similar commenting system, there are changes and I don't really know if I've got it set up as it should be. I tried to keep the hoops you must jump through at a minimum, while trying to keep out meanies and anonymouths.
But I need you to help me test it. Even if it's just to say hi, I'd be ever so grateful if you'd leave a comment to this post to let me know it's working. If you have feedback about how it's working from the user perspective, that would be ideal. If you're feeling chatty, tell me what you're looking forward to most in the New Year. Thanks for your help!
[UPDATE: After getting some feedback, I took off the settings that required logging in, so it should be pretty seamless now. Thanks to those of you who took the time to help me out with this.]
During that time, I had a decision to make. Not a terribly important one, but one that I went back and forth, back and forth on for a while. The commenting system I've used here since the start got bought by another company a while back and they decided that the day after Christmas was the last day I could use it without paying. If I did nothing, I'd lose all the comments I had. I could export them but I had zero idea how to do that successfully and zero energy to try to figure it out. Honestly, I felt a little like I was being held hostage.
The larger problem is that this blog, technologically speaking, is being held together by duct tape and bubble gum. The banner disappeared and it's on the oldest Blogger platform available, which tests my abilities any time I want to make a change. It needs a complete makeover, but I can't decide which direction to go, so I've just kept it in a holding pattern. I really need a blog guru but haven't spent the time finding one and can't really justify an expense for it right now, given that I have been pretty delinquent in keeping up with it!
So why am I writing now? After all my back-and-forthing I decided to pony up and not lose my comments until I can figure out the direction I want to go in here (and see if I can find someone to fix the joint up for me!). So while it's a similar commenting system, there are changes and I don't really know if I've got it set up as it should be. I tried to keep the hoops you must jump through at a minimum, while trying to keep out meanies and anonymouths.
But I need you to help me test it. Even if it's just to say hi, I'd be ever so grateful if you'd leave a comment to this post to let me know it's working. If you have feedback about how it's working from the user perspective, that would be ideal. If you're feeling chatty, tell me what you're looking forward to most in the New Year. Thanks for your help!
[UPDATE: After getting some feedback, I took off the settings that required logging in, so it should be pretty seamless now. Thanks to those of you who took the time to help me out with this.]
December 13, 2009
Just Under the Wire
Another set of last-minute picks from me!
Thursday
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland - no pick (Arrrgh, Thursday games!)
Sunday
New Orleans @ Atlanta
Green Bay @ Chicago
Denver @ Indianapolis
Buffalo @ Kansas City
NY Jets @ Tampa Bay
Miami @ Jacksonville
Detroit @ Baltimore
Seattle @ Houston
Cincinnati @ Minnesota
Carolina @ New England
St. Louis @ Tennessee
Washington @ Oakland
San Diego @ Dallas
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Monday Night
Arizona @ San Francisco
Combined MNF Score = 42
Good luck to everyone.
Thursday
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland - no pick (Arrrgh, Thursday games!)
Sunday
New Orleans @ Atlanta
Green Bay @ Chicago
Denver @ Indianapolis
Buffalo @ Kansas City
NY Jets @ Tampa Bay
Miami @ Jacksonville
Detroit @ Baltimore
Seattle @ Houston
Cincinnati @ Minnesota
Carolina @ New England
St. Louis @ Tennessee
Washington @ Oakland
San Diego @ Dallas
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Monday Night
Arizona @ San Francisco
Combined MNF Score = 42
Good luck to everyone.
November 26, 2009
A (Turkey) Wing and A Prayer
Oy, again with the Thursday games! Thanks to Greis, I'm getting my picks in just under the wire. Usually I do a lot more thinking and researching, but since I don't have the time, I'm going with pure gut this time. Here's hoping!
Thursday
Green Bay @ Detroit
Oakland @ Dallas
NY Giants @ Denver
Sunday
Indianapolis @ Houston
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Miami @ Buffalo
Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Seattle @ St. Louis
Carolina @ NY Jets
Washington @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ Tennessee
Chicago @ Minnesota
Kansas City @ San Diego
Jacksonville @ San Francisco
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
Monday Night
New England @ New Orleans
Combined MNF Score = 42
Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope it's a filling, fulfilling and sweet one!
Thursday
Green Bay @ Detroit
Oakland @ Dallas
NY Giants @ Denver
Sunday
Indianapolis @ Houston
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
Miami @ Buffalo
Cleveland @ Cincinnati
Seattle @ St. Louis
Carolina @ NY Jets
Washington @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ Tennessee
Chicago @ Minnesota
Kansas City @ San Diego
Jacksonville @ San Francisco
Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
Monday Night
New England @ New Orleans
Combined MNF Score = 42
Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope it's a filling, fulfilling and sweet one!
November 24, 2009
Happy Birthday: Revealing/Reveling
Today is my birthday.
In person, I'm always completely open about my age and will offer it without hesitation. I'm not a believer in lying about age; it's pointless because you're exactly as old as you are, no matter what you say, and there's no shame in proclaiming your actual age. Maybe this is due in part to my looking older than I was as a teen (which was good then) and then looking younger than I am as an adult, but it's just a strong belief for me.
However, I've been less forthcoming here and I was reflecting on that earlier today. I think the reason is two-fold: First, once it's laid out online, it's a fact frozen in time. Second, people often have preconceptions of someone based on their age, and that's something you can't overcome online because you don't "meet" them and see their personality.
I can't change either of those things, but I've decided that it just doesn't matter to me all that much anymore. Mellowing with age? Perhaps.
Today is my 42nd birthday and I'm happier with who I am than I have been at any other point in my life. I'm grateful every day for my family and my friends, both those I see in person and those with whom I interact solely online. I've come through a huge change in my work life and I'm finding my way just fine. The landscape of people in my life has also undergone changes, some of which were hard to take, but all I can do is appreciate the time I had with some people and not lament their absence. Are there some things that are missing, things that might make my life even fuller? Sure. But they don't diminish the person I am today. I'm not defined by them any more than I'm defined by my age alone.
So Happy 42nd Birthday to me. Here's a toast to number 43 and all those beyond, with a nod to all those behind.
In person, I'm always completely open about my age and will offer it without hesitation. I'm not a believer in lying about age; it's pointless because you're exactly as old as you are, no matter what you say, and there's no shame in proclaiming your actual age. Maybe this is due in part to my looking older than I was as a teen (which was good then) and then looking younger than I am as an adult, but it's just a strong belief for me.
However, I've been less forthcoming here and I was reflecting on that earlier today. I think the reason is two-fold: First, once it's laid out online, it's a fact frozen in time. Second, people often have preconceptions of someone based on their age, and that's something you can't overcome online because you don't "meet" them and see their personality.
I can't change either of those things, but I've decided that it just doesn't matter to me all that much anymore. Mellowing with age? Perhaps.
Today is my 42nd birthday and I'm happier with who I am than I have been at any other point in my life. I'm grateful every day for my family and my friends, both those I see in person and those with whom I interact solely online. I've come through a huge change in my work life and I'm finding my way just fine. The landscape of people in my life has also undergone changes, some of which were hard to take, but all I can do is appreciate the time I had with some people and not lament their absence. Are there some things that are missing, things that might make my life even fuller? Sure. But they don't diminish the person I am today. I'm not defined by them any more than I'm defined by my age alone.
So Happy 42nd Birthday to me. Here's a toast to number 43 and all those beyond, with a nod to all those behind.
November 21, 2009
Better Late Than Never
My picks. Yes, I'm late so I don't have one for the game on Thursday. I just couldn't get it together on Wednesday and I couldn't talk myself into caring. This season isn't really engaging me, I must say.
But I do wish everyone good luck and hope that I'm wrong on my pick against San Francisco.
Thursday Night
Miami @ Carolina - no pick
Pittsburgh @ Kansas City
Cleveland @ Detroit
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
Atlanta @ NY Giants
Buffalo @ Jacksonville
Washington @ Dallas
Seattle @ Minnesota
San Francisco @ Green Bay
Indianapolis @ Baltimore
Arizona @ St. Louis
NY Jets @ New England
San Diego @ Denver
Cincinnati @ Oakland
Philadelphia @ Chicago
Monday Night
Tennessee @ Houston
Combined MNF Score = 49
But I do wish everyone good luck and hope that I'm wrong on my pick against San Francisco.
Thursday Night
Miami @ Carolina - no pick
Pittsburgh @ Kansas City
Cleveland @ Detroit
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
Atlanta @ NY Giants
Buffalo @ Jacksonville
Washington @ Dallas
Seattle @ Minnesota
San Francisco @ Green Bay
Indianapolis @ Baltimore
Arizona @ St. Louis
NY Jets @ New England
San Diego @ Denver
Cincinnati @ Oakland
Philadelphia @ Chicago
Monday Night
Tennessee @ Houston
Combined MNF Score = 49
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