Reduction in Force - Increase in Office Supplies

Hey, hey, hey, I like being cool

No, not "cool" in the figurative "Oh, she's so cool, I want to be just like her" sense. I mean the literal "I like the temperature to be cool pretty much constantly" sense. I can't even pretend to be cool in the former sense, although once in college these two young girls took in my car and belongings as I was moving back in to the dorm for a new year and asked me, "Are you cool?" I still have no idea how I was supposed to answer that. (It was a pretty cool car, I must admit, so I guess I had them fooled.)

Alas, no, it's my unquenchable desire for chill that I'm talking about here. It's why restaurants where I'm a regular bring the BIG glass of ice water when I sit down and why other restaurants are pestered by me for "a glass of ice...just ice" pretty much constantly. It's why I have a fan going on my desk at work when other people have a heater going under theirs. It's why the A/C is on in my car more than it's off. It's why I walk around in short sleeves in the winter, while the people I'm with are dressed for the Arctic. It's why driving in a car with my mother, who's always cold, is like a punishment from the gods of temperature control. It's why the windows in my room are open year-round AND a timed fan is going in there much of the time, too. It's why I sometimes think that moving to Alaska is really my only option, eventually. (A certain Ms. Palin and Alaska politics have made me rethink that, but I'll definitely be going back to visit.)

I like to joke that it's because my thermostat is broken. But honestly, I'm not sure what it is that makes me seek out the frigid instead of the fiery, I just know that it extends to all areas of my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a complete wuss when it comes to spicy foods (though I have gotten better!) and can probably guess that my favorite thing about Costco is the cold-storage room where they keep the fruit.

The reason this comes to mind is that I just read a post by my friend, Twenty Four At Heart, at her blog of the same name wherein I got to interview her as a part of the Great Interview Experiment started by Neil of Citizen of the Month. When it comes to temperature preferences, Twenty Four and I are poles apart, but somehow we get along just fine. I hope you'll go over and read her responses to my questions and say hi.

An Unconventional Memory Lane

This morning as I left for work, I detoured to the trash enclosure to toss a bag in the dumpster on the way to my car.

Because I'm always running late, I've got this chore down to a science and it's a tribute to economy of motion: Flip gate latch, open gate, three brisk steps in, sweep lid up with one hand, fling bag in with other hand as turning around, three brisk steps back out, close gate and dash.

This morning, however, I was brought up short as I was taking those steps back out. There, on the cinder block retaining wall in front of the recycling bins, was an old metal box, open, full to bursting with photographic slides. The old-fashioned kind that almost no one gets anymore, since you need a slide projector and screen to view them.

I could see handwriting on the crisp white cardboard of some of them, so I lifted a few out, one by one, and held them up to the morning sun. Roses, a spring garden in bloom, a pregnant woman in 70s-style clothes grinning at the camera, the view from the top of a nameless tram.

Even though I really needed to get going, I stood, transfixed. Here was a box of someone's memories, left next to -- but not in -- the trash. As though whoever had put them there knew they needed to go, but couldn't bear to actually be the one to throw them away.

Questions tumbled in my head. Who did they belong to? Why had they been abandoned? Had the person who took them, collected them and arranged them so carefully over so many years died? Was there no one in the family who would have wanted this treasure trove of history? Did it upset the person who left the box behind to have to do it?

I stood there and contemplated closing the box up tight against its fate, tucking it under my arm and taking it with me. But I don't have a projector. I don't have a screen. I don't have a clue whose memories were sitting there in that unusual box, one step away from the landfill.

It saddened me to put the slides back, shut the lid, and walk away.

But most days it seems that I hardly have room for my own memories. How could I try to take on those of a stranger?

Finding Balance at BlogHer

I knew that it would take me a while to get around to writing about BlogHer, and now that most everyone has already published their posts, you should be good and warmed up for mine.

The overall theme for me at my first BlogHer was "Balance." Right from the start, it was a trip filled with ups and downs and I had to roll with them the best I could.

UP: Got to the airport on time and sailed through security (even though I forgot to take my netbook out of my purse).
DOWN: My flight was at the gate the absolute farthest from where I went through security (in a new terminal that I didn't even know was open and I was at the last gate of it).

UP: There was a food vendor open in this new terminal (Note: A vendor. One.) so I was able to grab some breakfast.
DOWN: By the time I had, miserly pastry in hand, my group was boarding and I couldn't really enjoy my chocolate milk.

UP: I was able to get an aisle seat in the completely full flight.
DOWN (Big Down): A man I shall forever refer to as The Hick From Hell took the middle seat next to me. Four of the worst hours in my life on an airplane ensued. Before we'd even left the tarmac, he opened his mouth and started spewing the most ignorant, bigoted, hateful, I've-been-hand-fed-by-the-right-wing-rabblerousers-and-I've-swallowed-it-whole crap at full voice. As we were surrounded by a very diverse crowd (hello, you're in San Jose, asshole), I both feared and hoped that someone would take issue with him. (They didn't.) Then he started drinking Jack Daniels at 8:00am (he ordered three, for a four-hour flight) and my revulsion was complete. Thankfully I had my MP3 player, very good earbuds and extra batteries. I ignored him, completely, which annoyed him. So when we were back on terra firma and I whipped out my phone to reconnect with sane people, I was subjected to his "Gee, I'm just a hick" ridicule for being one of "them people" who are pathetic (because we're able to use a cell phone; they are "beyond him") for being connected. Blood boils once more. I get the fuck out of there the moment I can. Oh, except that I let the lovely Mexican family sitting across from us (and technically behind us) exit first, just to piss him off.

DOWN: Waiting a really long time for the car to take me to the hotel.
UP #1: During that time I got to hang out with and get to know the charming Christina, who I'd been introduced to by the equally charming Andrea. She kept me from gnawing my arm off because by this time I was so hungry my head was starting to hurt.
UP #2: When we'd gotten a call from the limo company and moved outside to wait for our ride, we were approached by a woman who asked if we were bloggers, too. We'd walked past a group of women who were also waiting, unaware that they were waiting for the same car. (We should have some sort of sticker or tag to be able to identify a fellow attendee.) We carted our stuff over to where they were standing and I was thinking about calling the limo company again to ask where the hell this guy was, when a woman comes up to me and asks, "Maura?" I looked back at her with what was probably a classic blank stare, trying desperately to place her. I couldn't. Then she said her name and I almost got knocked over by a blast from the past. Linsey and I used to work together when I first moved to California. I hadn't seen her in around 16 years! We lost touch when I left that job, as so often happens, though I thought of her often and wondered what she was up to. I don't know how she recognized me right off, but it was a total trip getting caught up. A trip we took in a stretch SUV limo with neon lights; it felt like a bachelorette party with nine of my newest (and one oldest) friends.

UP: The beds at the Sheraton. (Slept like a dream.)
DOWN: The beds at the Sheraton. (Slept right through breakfast because I was so cozy.)

DOWN: People I thought would want to spend time with me made it fairly clear that they really weren't interested in doing so all that much.
UP: People I didn't know I'd get to spend time with wanted to do so and it made for some very memorable and worthwhile moments.

UP: The swag.
DOWN: The swag drama. Was there too much of it? Yes. Was there some really neat stuff that I'm glad I got a chance to sample? Yes. Did I like being able to bring gifts back to my friends and family since I barely left the hotel and didn't do any shopping? Big yes. (The not shopping thing was kind of weird, but good for the old wallet, certainly.) Did I ever behave in an unbecoming manner in pursuit of any swag? No. I was appalled by the behavior I heard about and was really glad I didn't witness any. There was only one swag bag I really wanted and that was the one from the Room 704 girls, who threw a hugely successful party. (Possibly too successful.) I love those girls like you wouldn't believe and I wanted to have a piece of them...I mean, the party...to take home with me. My bag was long gone by the time I got to the party.
UP: Because they rock, hardcore, I did get a bag from my girls, even though there were some shameless people who took bags that were marked for people. It was classic Room 704 style and I'm grateful that they went out of their way to do that for me.

UP: The keynote address let me hear the words of some bloggers I'd never met or read before, and there were both hilarious and poignant moments. (If you weren't there, you should absolutely go read those posts, or watch the videos of them being read. Some incredible talent there.)
DOWN: Many of those words made me want to put my head down on the table and sob like a child. It was all I could do to keep it together, and if I hadn't been seated between two guys (the fantastic brotherly duo of Ben and Matthew) who I'd pretty much only just met, I very well might have. Then again, pretty much everyone was crying, so I probably could have.

UP: The people. The bloggers and tweeters I knew online and got to meet in person, the bloggers I met (in any way) for the first time, the people I only got to say "hi" to, the people I met and talked to in line and never saw again, the vendors who brought their wares for us and were so kind in talking about them, and the woman I had lunch with on Saturday because she looked like she needed a place to sit and we had such a lovely time.
DOWN: The talk by and about some people.
BIGGER UP: The people I got to spend significant amounts of time with during those four days. Just the best people and I am so delighted that I got to have that experience with you Stacey, Renee, Marinka, Kirsten, Kari, Issa, Heather, Caitlin and all of the individuals linked to above. Thank you for helping me keep my equilibrium at BlogHer.

BlogHer Thoughts (After a Fashion)

I have no idea where to start with any sort of post-BlogHer recap. There are so many moments that could be captured, so many people that could be mentioned, so many stories that could be told. (And so many that can't be told.)

However, whether you were there or not, you have to go watch this first before I begin. Go ahead, I'll wait here, sorting through my swag. (Trust me, it's worth it.)

There, in a nutshell, you have a fairly accurate picture of BlogHer09. From its lows to its highs, from the absurd to the astounding, from the asinine to the amazing, from the ridiculous to the revealing, it was all there. (If you're more into the words than them newfangled moving pictures, A Mom Two Boys' recap has a very similar take, albeit from someone who was there.)

I'll have more, and a couple of pictures -- be afraid, be very afraid, some of you! -- but I just needed to get my feet wet. (Not quite like Undomestic Diva, who got more than her feet wet in Chicago.)

I realize that pointing you to other people's recaps before I've done my own may not be the best move, because you will be all BlogHer'd out -- like you aren't already -- but hey, it's a start. And I just need more time to pull my thoughts together in any sort of coherent fashion. (And maybe read some more of other peoples' recaps to keep getting more ideas.)

Get Thee Gone to the Windy City

See all those ladies over there to the right, underneath "Mo-mmy Blogger Lovefest" in the sidebar? In a mere 24 hours from now, I will be under the same roof as almost every one of them. And, at long last, I'm excited about it!

I've had a lot on my mind and haven't really had much time to spend thinking about it or getting geared up, mentally, to go. I've done what I needed to do -- make hotel reservations, get a roommate, book a flight, get transportation set, order calling cards, request time off -- but it has seemed so distant and I did all that on kind of an autopilot. But the time is here and I'm "there" now; I can't wait to get going and hit the ground in Chicago to soak up the experience. I'm not in the least bit anxious about actually going or nervous about meeting people, but I do wonder if it will live up to my expectations.

Since no one has ever asked me about the title of my mini blogroll there, I assume that either a) you get it, or b) you don't care. (I suppose there is an option c) you never even noticed it because blogrolls are "so four years ago." I don't care. I like them.) No one can deny that "mommy bloggers" rule the roost in blogging these days, and the vast majority of my online female friends fall into that category.

Sometimes I feel a little lost as a non-mom blogger in the mix. The fact that I go my own way and don't really fall into line on the way other bloggers seem to feel you "should" do things (you know, like post more than twice a month) probably doesn't help. Then add in that there are simply some things my friends encounter and feel are things that I will never encounter or feel because I'm not a parent. It means that not only are our lives really different, but our blogs are vastly different, too. Not that that's a bad thing, it just leaves me wondering where I fit in sometimes and I'm curious as to whether that's going to be more apparent or less apparent this weekend...or make no appreciable difference whatsoever. I started thinking about it when reviewing the panels that will be at BlogHer, as a whole bunch of them revolve around mommy bloggers. The good news is that the panels I choose to go to will likely be a little more lightly attended!

But don't go expecting that I'm going to come back from it all full of vim and vigor, bursting at the seams with all sorts of great bloggy ideas and such. This is me, after all. If I get around to posting about the conference, that will be one in the Win column. You can come here after reading everybody else's post-BlogHer wrap-ups and maybe I'll tell you all about the mommy bloggers behind the scenes, once they've really let their hair down. "BlogHer Exposed: When the Squeeing Ends and the Drinking Begins."* Photos will cost a little extra. Send bribes to my nonexistent Paypal account, m'kay? See you on the flip side.

*Yes, that will be the only time the word "squee" ever appears on this site.

Crossroads

I didn't really intend to have a month plus go by between posts. I've had ideas and started a few times, but haven't quite gotten there. In the month before a bloggers' conference, I really should get some new material up.

But.

Crossroads. I'm at one. A big one. And it has me feeling both liberated and tied up in knots.

If you've been reading here for any length of time, you're likely aware that I never talk about work in this space except in the most general of terms. I believe that, unless you're totally anonymous, it's just not a good idea; even if you are anonymous, it's risky.

But.

I recently found out that I'm being laid off. It is...an adjustment. I've never been in this position before and it comes at an interesting time for me. My mind is constantly occupied by thoughts of "What next?" And, frankly, it's a big question.

For better or for worse, I have a couple months to ponder that very question. You'll forgive me, I hope, for not going into detail here when it comes to the possibilities and how I'm weighing them. For the moment, I'm still gainfully employed after all.

But.

Not for long.

Hitting the Road

Hi, blog. Just thought I'd drop in and say howdy. Make sure you weren't feeling too lonely. It's hard not to, I know, believe me.

Since I really don't have much to say, I thought it would be a good time to mention that I'm going to BlogHer '09 this July. Many of you reading this already know that, but it's a good excuse to put up the nifty badge that BlogHer so thoughtfully provided:

I'm still not thrilled with the idea of being in Chicago in the hottest part of its year, but I really want to go, so I'm going. I've already told people that if it's super hot I literally may not leave the hotel the entire time and if there's a brownout or they lose A/C, I am outta there! I think they may not believe that I'm serious. Let me assure them, I am. Even though that hotel is going to be swimming in alcohol, there is not enough alcohol in the city to keep me there if it gets sweltering.

I've traveled quite a bit this year. A bonus of this particular trip is that, with it, I will finally earn my first free ticket on Southwest. I've been a part of their Rapid Rewards program for years, but I've never flown enough in one year to earn a free ticket. (And, before that, when they would stamp your card and you had longer than a year, I could never keep track of the damned card long enough to add them up!)

I haven't yet planned a trip that will utilize the free ticket. You may now commence the entreaties/begging to convince me that I should use it to travel to your area this fall. Any bribes should contain chocolate, cupcakes, bacon or, preferably, all of them...just not necessarily together.

Up, Up and Away

I saw the neatest thing on my way to work this morning. Hovering above the highway that's the worst part of my commute, just shy of the point where I have to make a decision -- either to stay on the bad road or exit to a better highway but with a nerve-wracking and dangerous merge -- was a zeppelin advertising the new movie, UP.

Seeing zeppelins is not a terribly unusual site around here because a company, Airship Ventures, started flying them out of Moffett Field in Mountain View last fall. They tend to fly by where I work, near San Francisco Bay, and it's always a nice sight. There's something really magical and relaxing, at the same time, about seeing them floating along.

But to look up and see the cheerful ad for the movie, with that enormous, iconic bunch of balloons just made me smile. A lot. Which is quite an accomplishment for me at that time of day. It seemed so right and perfect and made the drive a little less stressful.

P.S. In going to their site to get a link, I saw that they have a small feature about the UP promotion on their site. (There's a picture; you can see what I saw.) For one moment I thought, "Oh, cool, I can take a ride in it!" Then I saw the price. I'm sure it's worth it, but man! I think I'm going to have to save that for a really special occasion.

Coming Along

Just wanted to give a quick update on my leg, but first thank you for your kind words and support. I appreciate it.

So far it seems like I'm healing really well. I spent two straight days icing it, elevating it and staying off it as much as possible. This was fairly easy to do since I spent most of that time sleeping. One day back at work and then I spent the weekend relaxing and continuing to use it as little as I could. Monday I "upgraded" from the crutches to a cane because the crutches were hurting my hand and if I can't have my leg, I need my hand! But seriously, with the problems I've had with my right wrist, I can't take a chance on injuring it further.

Thursday I go to an orthopedic surgeon. I'm not certain whether it's good, bad or indifferent that they're sending me to a surgeon for a follow up instead of a run-of-the-mill orthopedist. I'll see what he has to say and go from there; I'm not about to fret over it. I just have to be careful not to overcompensate by straining my other leg, which I've noticed having little tweaks in the last day.

Now that I've put you all back to sleep, thank you and goodnight.

That Last Step Is A Doozy

Long-time readers of my blog will recall that I broke my shoulder a few years ago. Ah, good times. I actually do look on that time somewhat fondly because it's also when I adopted Finn. But being hurt and recovering? Not so much.

Since that time I've been pretty careful and I always remind myself, when I do trip, not to try to catch myself if I fall. Aside from my knees showing signs of simply getting older, I've been pretty lucky since then in the getting hurt arena. To help keep my knees from getting creaky, I've taken to using the stairs when leaving work; I've found that if I do it regularly, they bother me less.

On Tuesday, I headed for the stairs like normal at the end of the day and was pleased to note that my knees didn't "crackle" at all, like they often do if I haven't done the stairs in a while. I did notice that my one calf felt a little tight and no sooner did I think it than *SNAP!* Something that felt like a giant rubber band snapped in that calf and man, did it hurt.

I still had two set of stairs to go so I took it r e a l l y slowly and continued down. A coworker came by and asked if he could help, but what could he do? I think the poor guy was afraid he was going to have to try carry me down the rest of the way, but I set his mind at ease and kept going. It took me what felt like forever to get all the way down and to my car, but I made it, one halting step at a time.

Long story a tad bit shorter, I ended up going to the ER and what I suspected was confirmed: I'd torn a muscle in my right calf. I've always had kind of tight muscles in my calves so I'd feared that it would happen one day, but not in such an innocuous situation. Just like with my shoulder, there's not much they can do to fix it so I just have to stay off of it and see what happens. I've spent the last two days icing it and elevating it, and sleeping like a fiend because of the pain medication. I have crutches that, frankly, wear me out and I haven't been on them since I got home from the hospital.

I think tomorrow is soon enough. Take pity on the next poor schmo you see hobbling around on crutches, OK?

Ping: A Short Bite

Sometimes, I think I constrain myself here by expecting that a post needs to be a certain thing. This is odd because I'm the one always telling other bloggers, "Your blog is what YOU make of it! Don't let other people tell you what it 'should' be!" You'd think I'd take my own advice more often; no time like the present.

It occurred to me yesterday during a conversation with another blogger that sometimes I want to just say something without a beginning, a middle and an end. Something more like a tweet on Twitter. Without it, you know, being a tweet.

And because there's no sense in having a theme on one's blog if one doesn't use it, henceforth, such little gems here will just be known as a Ping. Perhaps not terribly original, but it will get the job done.

Today's Ping: I'm going to Seattle this weekend. I've been looking forward to it for ages and I'm excited to be on my way. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate and I'll be able to take and share some nice pictures. I hope you have a nice long weekend, too.

Year of Living Generously - A Brief Update

I haven't forgotten that I have a blog, I promise. I've just been really occupied with other things -- much of which had to do with the title topic -- and I haven't had the energy or motivation to write.

As you may have noticed, if you've been here before, the color scheme recently changed. I, along with scores of other bloggers, have gone purple in honor of Maddie. Of course, my scheme was actually already purple but I went with a shade that was suggested by Mrs. Flinger, whom you met not too long ago.

I should note here that I wrote all of that rather disjointed intro above almost a month ago. I am not going to go into why there was such a long gap, mostly because I'm not interested in finding a way to articulate those whys to anyone. If that sounds snotty, I apologize; that's not my intent. I'm just not in a place where I'm up for it and I want to say it simply.

My life, mentally, has been different since April 7th. It's not a mistake that my last post and the one that has stayed up there for over a month was the remembrance from the day of Maddie's service. I haven't found a way to express why the events of April have had such an impact on me, to myself or anyone else. All I can say is that they did.

I also want to say that, while I'm going to continue on with 2009 being a year that I give as much as possible, I'm going to stop trying to write much about it beyond this. It's part of what's holding me up from posting. I wrote about how I've struggled with it right from the start and it hasn't gotten any easier.

Since the world said goodbye to little Maddie, most of my giving efforts have been focused on raising funds in her name for the March of Dimes and in helping to fund support for Maddie's parents, who have had such a difficult time since their world shattered. I talked about the March of Dimes in connection with the Spohrs back in February, though I could never have imagined at that point how much would have changed and how much would have happened between then and the date of the actual walk. If you aren't aware, the Spohrs' team alone raised over sixty thousand (yes, sixty thousand) dollars for the March of Dimes and raised so much more awareness of the organization and its mission, since that time. If ever the word "outpouring" were appropriate, this was it; there was an absolute outpouring of caring, commitment and cash from people around the country and beyond, both for the walk and for Maddie's parents. The wave of caring continues on and if you're interested in hearing about what's happening, please check out the March for Maddie site.

I wasn't able to participate in one of the walks, so I instead donated to pretty much anyone I knew who was going to walk. Because I have so many wonderful and generous friends, that was quite a few people and I was happy to set my credit card on fire as they donned their purple and their tennis shoes and set out to make a difference.

And, as Forrest Gump said, that's all I have to say about that.

So now, while life goes on as it inevitably does, I have this new appreciation for the impact that we can have on each others' lives. I've realized, however, that I don't need to write about it, I just need to do what I'm moved to do.

Remembering Our Beautiful Butterfly

For Too Short a Time

A little over 24 hours ago, the world lost the light of a star and the universe gained one in the heavens. Madeline Alice Spohr left us last night, a mere 17 months after she got here to spread magic with her smile.

You may remember that I wrote about how her parents were raising funds for the March of Dimes walk to be held this month. None of us could ever have imagined that Maddie wouldn't be here for the walk, leading the way in her little pink car.

The blog world reeled today as the news of Maddie being gone spread via Twitter. There were tears and heartbreak and an outpouring of grief. But then that world started to pull together and spread an amazing amount of love and support along with the sad news. Heather and Mike asked that donations be made to the March of Dimes in lieu of any flowers. And my world, my online world, responded. For much of the day I felt numb with disbelief and grief, but I found myself transfixed watching that page for donations as it grew and grew and grew all day long. At this time, the team has raised over $20,000 in honor of Maddie. Just take a look at the widget to the right to see where the donation total on Heather's page currently stands. It boggles the mind and warms the heart, even a heart that's broken into tiny pieces right now.

The simply amazing Meghan at AMomTwoBoys.com has dedicated a page on her site For Maddie and it has all the information about how to make a donation (**Updated - the button to do that appears to the right, too. Please help if you can**), where to send any cards, etc. to Mike and Heather, information about the funeral service (which will be updated as the details become available) and a list of all the people who have written posts in honor of Maddie, to celebrate her life and mourn her death. Over 200 bloggers have added the links to their posts there, among them some pretty incredible writers, all of us needing to share our love for a little girl who could touch our hearts across the Internet with her trademark open-mouth smile and wide-open eyes.

Madeline, in a photo taken by her mother.

Maddie, you are loved and missed beyond reason. Thank you for brightening my world, for too short a time.

What the Deuce?

At long last (at looooong, looooong last), the Internet's least-successful giveaway has come to a merciful close. The charming and lovely PsychMamma, as the only participant, walked off with the big prize. As she's currently off vacationing in the sun and sand, I'll let her know when she gets back and her tan has worn off.

Clearly, the hurdle of having to make a donation was a higher one than I anticipated, so I apologize to those of you who would have liked to participate but just weren't in a position to do so. When I chose to do this, I didn't realize that the minimum was $10. I'm still going to make an additional donation to the film, including one to match PsychMamma's generosity, and I'll try to do better next time in the giveaway department.

Moving on: Tonight I went to the reading and signing event for Heather Armstrong's new book, "It Sucked and Then I Cried." While plenty of people apparently gave her shit about calling it a "San Francisco" signing when it was actually south of there in Mountain View (actually the publisher's doing, which didn't surprise me), I was grateful that it wasn't in SF. This way I actually had a chance to go; if it had been up in the city, I wouldn't have been able to get there for it. As it was, parking was a pain and the small bookstore was packed. I was there a half hour early and every seat was already gone, and most of the decent floor spots were taken. But I copped a little step stool that was innocently occupying a corner unattended and settled in.

I'm not going to give you a recap of the event, as it's a "you had to be there" kind of thing, and I'm not going to tell you to go buy the book. If you like Dooce, you probably will; if you don't like her, you probably won't; if you don't have a freaking clue who I'm talking about, what are you doing here?

But I will tell you why I bought it and why I went tonight: She makes me laugh and I respect what she's done. The shy and retiring Mrs. Flinger went to the event in Seattle last night, and she posted about it, too (hers has video!). She conveniently wrote for me how I felt about going to see Heather and the experience overall:

Heather was absolutely hilarious. She was real, honest, pregnant (yes! BY GOD she isn’t lying about a pregnancy to make money! I know this shocks you.) and actually made the crowd comfortable. She’s every bit a normal person as you can expect some chick from BYU gone badass to be.

Feel what you will about her, to those who resent/hate/despise/"can't stand" her, whatever. To me she's a genuinely funny woman with a talent for telling a story and I wanted to give her props for being the blogger and writer she is. I'm not a fawner. I don't fawn. I didn't go there to fawn. I didn't have a funny story to tell or a need to make her remember meeting me. I didn't tell her, "Oh, I'm a blogger, too!" I didn't have my picture taken with her. I didn't bring a present for her gestating baby. I didn't tell her "how much I lurve your blog" or anything like that. I went there to show my support by buying the book, listening to her interact with her readers, and have my book signed.

And maybe to have something to write about to end the drought caused by the misery of that giveaway. Maybe.

Year of Living Generously - Hollywood Edition

Have you ever wanted to work on a movie? Whether it's in front of the camera or behind it, I think a lot of people have wondered what it's like. I had the chance to do that shortly after I moved here to California from New York. For me, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and while it was hard work, I wouldn't trade having done it for anything.

A friend I've known for as long I can remember is a talented writer and had made an award-winning short film in college. A few years after graduating, he'd developed a screenplay and decided to raise the money to make it here in San Jose, completely on a shoestring budget. At that time, I was doing temp work so I had a lot of free time and flexibility, and I was delighted to help work on his dream project.

Raising the money took a lot longer than shooting the movie. At that point in time, I was struggling to get by as it was -- even with a nest egg, California was an expensive shock to my wallet -- so while I wasn't able to give much cash, I gave many, many hours. I had enough of garage sales to last a lifetime and a half, let me tell you. But it worked. Combined with all sorts of fund raising efforts, from hitting up our parents to asking local merchants for in-kind donations, and a few of my friend's own credit lines, we were ready to shoot in the summer of 1995.

I became the mistress of wardrobe, for reasons that were never clear to me. I'm no fashion plate, but it was a job I could handle. It involved a lot of Poloroid photos for continuity -- this was before the advent of the digital point and shoot camera, remember -- and a lot of waiting around. Oh, and I was also a driver because, well, because I had a car.

In two weeks -- the hottest two weeks of the entire year, I recall -- I learned how to sleep almost anywhere, ate more bagels than I had ever eaten before, fell a little bit in love, witnessed someone getting fired, had a near emotional meltdown, and watched the magic of movies come to life. I even had my name in Variety when they did a tiny notice about the film; apparently wardrobe is a position that got listed routinely.

It was an almost surreal time, and it was also one of the most stressful but rewarding experiences in my life. While the movie never got picked up for distribution, it did have a big premiere locally; I got to see my name and hard work up on screen, popcorn in hand. That was a night I'll never forget.

It was the type of experience that anyone who plans to work in movies should get a chance to have, because it's literally a "from the ground up" kind of environment. Journalism students at Middle Tennessee State University are getting that chance in a film called "The New True Charlie Wu," which is shooting right now in Nashville. When I saw the introductory video from the film's writer and director, Bob Pondillo, on the Charlie Wu site, it really resonated with me and took me back to those days when the film was gearing up and the sky was the limit. Like the film I worked on, this one is being funded entirely by fans in exchange for your name in lights...or at least on the big screen. The details on how it works can be found here. But, in short, you will get a screen credit based on how much you -- and the people you refer -- contribute to make the film a reality.

Why give to help a movie get made? It's simply another kind of giving to education, really. The next generation of filmmakers has to learn their craft, and this is how they do it. And, let's face it, we need movies. It's been well established that, in difficult economic times, people turn to entertainment to help them escape from sometimes difficult realities. Equally true is that they need our support when they're getting started even more than they do when they've "made it" in Hollywood.

For this month's project in my Year of Living Generously, here is what I propose: Go, check out the site using my referral URL -- http://youandcharliewu.com/moburns -- and see what it's all about. Sign up and make even the minimum donation (which appears to be ten dollars), then come back and put your individual referral URL in the comments. For each of you who does this by the last day of this month, I will give an additional five dollars to the film. Plus, one person who makes a donation and makes a comment here will win two tickets vouchers to AMC Theaters in North America. There may be another, special prize that will be announced later.*

Fifteen years later, I'm in a different place in life than I was in the days of the endless garage sales. This is my way of honoring that incredible time and paying forward the chance I was given to participate in it. It may not sound like much, but seeing your name on screen for the first time is a memorable moment, and it's one I'd like to share with you.

+++Update: Initially I did not realize the minimum donation was $10. Because of that, I am upping the prize to four ticket vouchers to AMC or Cinemark or Regal Cinemas, winner's choice+++

*The pesky fine print: All comments must: 1) have a name; 2) have a valid referral URL; 3) have a verifiable email address; 4) be made here by March 31, 2009 at 11:59 PDT to be counted. The AMC ticket vouchers can only be awarded to a commenter who lives in North America. Comments world-wide, however, will count toward the donation total. Anonymous or inappropriate comments will not be counted, either for the donation total or the giveaways, and will not deleted. All potential winners will be contacted by email, so a valid email address is required and you will have five days to reply with a regular mail address that must be in the area described above. The maximum amount that will be donated by me for this post is $500. All decisions about the donation and the giveaway(s) are mine and are final.

Since You Weren't There

These are some of my favorite pictures from my little roadtrip last weekend. The page may take a while to load, but hey, it's the weekend; relax and enjoy it.

Just Because

Mining for Edible Gold

I think I might very well have had the best meal of my life tonight. If not, it was damned close to it. I certainly can’t remember one that I enjoyed, end to end, any better. And it was in one of the last places you’d expect to have a life-altering meal.

OK, life-altering might be a slight exaggeration, but it inspired me to do two things I don’t normally do: write about it on a weekend (note: I can’t post it tonight, but I’m writing this on Saturday) and go back the next day for another meal.

I’m spending this weekend in California’s Gold Country, which, if you’ve never been here, I highly recommend you visit the next time you have a chance, especially in the spring. I’m a little early for the riot of flowers that pop up here every year, but their promise is in the air already and the daffodils are poking their heads up.

I’m staying in Angels Camp, which is famous for being the setting of the Mark Twain story, “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.” Nearby is the town of Murphys, which I’ve been to a number of times and I always enjoy coming back for both the familiar and the new. It’s a small town, so the landscape of shops and restaurants does change each time I visit, which can be both a blessing and a curse. This time, it was a blessing.

I strolled up one side of the main street and down the other, popping into various shops, window shopping and helping the economy a bit. It was too early for dinner, but I wanted to scope out where I would be eating because, hey, you just can’t leave these things to chance. As I came out of a neat tea shop, I noticed that there was a new (to me) restaurant called Mineral right next door. It was set back off the street a little, with patio seating in front, but they had a sign out front with a review from the paper of a nearby city that gave it five stars; not something you see every day. It said that it was a vegetarian restaurant, but not entirely vegan, and that it didn’t limit the deliciousness. I was intrigued, but a little disappointed that there wasn’t a menu out there to peruse. But five stars? Yeah, I’d consider it.

When I was ready for dinner, nothing else I’d seen had interested me as much as the promise of Mineral, so back I went. It was still pretty early and I was the only person there, which was fine because it’s a really small place and who doesn’t love a little personal attention when indulging in a good meal? I checked out the wine list first, and was happy to see that they had Prosecco by the glass, as it’s my preferred wine with bubbles.

When I opened the menu I was surprised to see it was really pretty short: a half dozen small plates, two salads and three large plates. As there are a lot of things I can’t or won't eat (and, okay, some people might call me “picky”), I was a little concerned that I wouldn’t find something I’d want. When I really looked, though, I saw that while I wouldn’t be in to everything on the menu, what I was into looked promising.

I started with a small plate of white bean hummus that had just the right amount of olive oil and paprika around the edges, with olive "dust" sprinkled on top, and was served with a trio of things to scoop it up, each one better than the next; sourdough baguette slices, thin toasted croutons and even thinner, super-crispy, almost translucent potato chips. The hummus was smooth and just garlicky enough, with a little kick from the paprika. The chips were nothing short of amazing and combined with the hummus they were divine. I’m not ashamed to admit that I ate almost every smidge of that hummus (that I could get to without picking up the dish and licking it clean) and then wished there were more.

It was probably a good thing there wasn’t, though, because next up was an entrée from the heavens. Now, I will be the first to tell you that I am not a mac n’ cheese girl. It wasn’t something I ate growing up and I’ve never had a taste for that fake cheesy taste of the stuff out of the box. But in the last few weeks, I’d heard a bunch of people talking about wanting to have that when the weather has been so cold and it made me wish I liked it. So when I saw it on the menu, I figured this was as good a place as I was ever going to find to try it…and I was right. This is what macaroni and cheese should be. It was made fresh with aged white cheddar and garlic butter, then topped with just enough toasted bread crumbs. I swear, it melted in my mouth and I believe I whimpered just a little bit when the cheese hit my tongue. I got a half order (a really nice thing for them to have available) and while I really wanted more of that, too, it was actually just the right amount for a single serving. It was incredibly satisfying and not the least bit heavy, and it felt really decadent to enjoy it with the Prosecco.

I was glad to see during my entrée that some other people were filtering in to the restaurant. This is a place that should be filled every night. Since there was no rush, however, and I wasn’t stuffed because the portions were just right, I decided to go ahead and get dessert. Perhaps not surprisingly, on such a spare menu, there was only one dessert selection but it sounded fascinating: Indian Spiced Fried Chocolate. I know! Fried. Chocolate. I had no idea what to expect but there was no way I could resist it. What came to the table was a small plate of four small, golden spheres, resting on an espresso port reduction and sprinkled with a touch of gray sea salt. The server, who is also one of the owners, said that the best way to eat them was to roll them in the sauce and pop them in your mouth. That was a little daunting because the “Indian Spiced” part gave me a little pause -- with something like that I usually want to taste a little first before going all in. But sometimes only the brave are rewarded, so I did exactly what she suggested and went for it.

Oh. My. God. The fried exterior was just thick enough to contain the chocolate, a little crisp and not at all greasy, and when my teeth broke it open there was this luscious ooze of almost bitter chocolate, with just a hint of spice and sea salt, that mixed with the espresso sauce and made love to my mouth. Four times. I then had a food-induced “little death” and passed out. The End.

Grace in Small Things, 14

I've decided to drop the 365-ish. It's just not in my nature to follow the "rules" and do this like I'm really supposed to. :-) It's not going to be daily, I may not get to 365 -- and if I do it may take me three years! I'm just going to roll with it and press on.

1. The scent of fresh doughnuts wafting out of the bag on the front seat of the car in the morning.

2. Catching glimpses, in between the trees and shrubs, of the elegant birds lounging in the little strip of waterway along the side of the road.

3. Getting an unexpected email from a friend that makes me smile.

4. Seeing the first blooms on a plant you've never noticed before.

5. The sigh that comes with taking my bra off at the end of the day.

Year of Living Generously Update

It has been more than a month since I last checked in here on my Year of Living Generously endeavor and I thought it was time to talk about where I'm at with it.

I haven't been able to settle on a method or theme or selection process as I had hoped to do. So I've just been following a pretty basic idea of "Give when so moved." I'm online a lot. There are a lot of causes out there and there's no lack of requests that I come across. When I read one that is reasonable and moves me to act, I do it swiftly.

One of the more memorable ones was a simple request for baby supplies for a woman who had given birth to multiples here in the U.S. but is a refugee from war-torn Sudan. She simply needed diapers (five newborns go through a total of 40 a day!) and The One Dollar Give made it possible to buy a box of diapers for them via an Amazon registry and have it delivered directly to the family. Technology can be a beautiful thing.

Well, come to think of it, maybe I do have a theme for this month after all. Because what I want to tell you about now is because of a sweet, beautiful baby girl named Maddie.

Maddie is the daughter of proud parents Heather and Michael, who can be found over at The Spohrs Are Multiplying, where Maddie is the star. Heck the girl even has her own Facebook fan page! I think Heather has more or less a part-time job taking pictures of her little miracle and we're lucky enough to get to see them often. Those eyes of Maddie's are the most expressive things ever.

I've become friends with Heather online and I like her in spite of the fact that she is both a Dodger fan and a USC fan. And that is saying something. But anyway, Maddie was born three months prematurely and has had a lot of medical stuff to deal with in her short life. But she's here and beautiful, and that's thanks in part to the work that is done by the March of Dimes.

To celebrate Maddie and thank the March of Dimes for their part in her life, the Spohrs are committed to helping raise funds for them. They are gearing up for the annual March of Dimes walk in their area and they're asking us for help in reaching their fundraising goal, which includes spreading the word if you're not able to give right now when money is tight. I think most of us who have an online life know the power of social media, and using your voice that way can be just as important as opening your wallet.

The good people at Kodak have upped the ante a bit and have provided two great prizes that will be given away by a virtual raffle next month. If you need any more reason than that, take a peek over at the purple box to the right and see if you can resist that smile. Join me in help keeping that smile bright, for Maddie and other babies like her.

Grace in Small Things, 13/365-ish

Ooh, just squeaked this one in under the wire. I had a moment of inspiration and decided to run with it.

1. Unexpectedly seeing the full moon, low over the horizon on a clear night.

2. Being given a surprise gift that melts your heart.

3. Making a friend feel a little bit better.

4. Watching the big dog show and falling in love with dozens of the dogs. (Yes, I have cats, but I love dogs, too. If I could, I'd have both.)

5. Two-bite cupcakes for dessert.

Skating By

I have to admit, I've got nothing in the tank today. I'm not even able to dredge up five things for a GIST list. Nothing's wrong, nothing's bad, I just keep drawing a blank. And when I don't draw a blank, it just kind of peters off into babble.

So, in the tried and true tradition of fine blogging, when you've got nothing, post a picture! And when you've really got nothing, go with catblogging!!



Here's my beautiful Finn in what I call his "demi-loaf" position. I love it when cats sit with their paws folded under them like this and they look like a loaf of bread. When he isn't leaning over like that, it's perfect. He wasn't interested in humoring me by straightening up, so I got a demi-loaf.

I told you I have nothing.

Grace in Small Things, 12/365-ish

1. Bringing cake in to work for no reason and watching people's delighted reaction.

2. Related: Cream cheese frosting.

3. Making someone genuinely laugh with surprise.

4. A birthday balloon that just refuses to deflate.

5. Kitty eyes squinting up at you when you turn the light on in the dark room where they were sleeping.

And, with that, I'm off to bed. I'm tired tonight so I'm going to go to bed early. For me.

Grace in Small Things, 11/365-ish

1. Lobster.

2. Lobster with butter.

3. Lobster on a roll with butter.

4. A fun night with friends.

5. Did I mention the lobster?

Grace in Small Things, 10/365-ish

1. Finding out that a friend has arrived home safe and sound after a very long trip.

2. A kitty paw curved over kitty eyes during a catnap.

3. The word "mellifluous." When it's said right, it's such a lovely sounding word.

4. Walking in the door just as your favorite new show starts.

5. A video that makes you laugh so hard, the specter of your crappy day instantly vanishes.

Yeah, it was a pretty crappy day and seeing that video (twice) really helped, but I have to admit that, as I was walking in from the car, I started thinking about getting this list together and I really felt the benefit of having a reason to think positively. Yes, I know it sounds corny, but it happened.

If I keep it up, I may find a reason to blog about something else other than these lists! For the time being, however, this is where it's at for me so I hope you are not minding the ride if you're not actually enjoying them.

Grace in Small Things, 9/365-ish

1. Having a built-in post format when you're lacking any ideas.

2. The gossamer wings of a dragonfly

3. A perfectly toasted grilled cheese sandwich.

4. Finding a really neat blog when checking out someone else's GIST list.

5. The mute button on the remote.

Grace in Small Things, 8/365-ish

1. Taking a day off from GISTing and not beating myself up or stressing over getting back into it.

2. A quiet dinner with a best friend.

3. Having someone say, "Mmm, you smell good," when they hug you hello, though you weren't even trying.

4. Looking up in the sky on a clear night and spotting a constellation immediately.

5. [Insert highly personal, post-sickness item that only I would care about.]

While I still have a few moments every couple of hours where I feel wonky, overall I'm much better. Such a relief. I hope never to be that sick again.

It has been such a weird week that I really don't have much else going on. I'm happy for the weekend and a chance to rest up because even though I've been sleeping a full night, every night, this has taken a lot out of me and I'm tired.

Grace In Small Things, 7/365-ish

I'm going to have to dig into the past for today's items, as there was nothing terribly inspiring about today. I spent it fighting off the last of whatever had me so sick for the past few days. The only good news is that I think I'm over it.

1. Sitting on the beach alone, hearing nothing but the sound of the waves and the wind.

2. Seeing a piece of work by a favorite artist, up close and personal.

3. Peeling the paper from a Reese's peanut butter cup and having none of the teeth break off.

4. Watching a kite bobbing in the sky on a Spring day.

5. Finding a shiny penny, heads up.

Grace In Small Things, 6/365-ish, expanded edition

I was going to take a break from GISTing for a day and complete something I should have done last week. I was tagged by AnyMommy in a recent post to share five of my addictions here. But if I do it right, maybe they can be one in the same.

Aren't addictions generally for things that give us pleasure? And there's grace to be found in pleasure. I suppose there are exceptions to that, but I'm going to give it a try anyway.

1. Books - Anyone who knows me how much I like to read, but I doubt that most of them realize the extent to which I'm addicted to reading. It's the one thing I can count on to really take me away to another place at any time. It's very, very rare that I don't have a book with me and will whip it out whenever I'm left with time on my hands. To that end, having a Kindle has proved to be a godsend. So long as it's charged up, it's like having an entire library at my fingertips.

2. The feel of my cat's fur - From the first time I picked Finn up at the adoption table, I was captivated by the feel of his fur. He's got the lushest fur I've ever felt on a cat and it's so incredibly soothing to stroke him. I'm sure my propensity for doing just that has made him more spoiled than he might otherwise be, but it was by design, in part. When Peri came to live with my mom, she was tiny, scared and traumatized by being dumped off in a parking lot for who-knows-how-long before she was found and my brother brought her home. She never grew out of the scared and she's never been comfortable with being held. Over the years I've persevered and gotten her slightly more used to it, but she still squirms away in a short time. When I adopted Finn, I wanted to make sure that he got accustomed to being held -- that was a real hardship! Thankfully, he was on board with this and enjoys being petted and held pretty much any time, so I can get my daily dose of Finn fur without complaint.

3. Mashed potatoes - While it's a pretty mundane side dish, there's nothing I like better than good mashed potatoes; they're totally my go-to comfort food and I think it's fair to say that I'm addicted to them. I like making them from scratch and have my own method of preparing them that, to me, makes them unbeatable. But I order them at restaurants to compare and usually they come up short. Too cold, too thin, too gluey, too grainy, too peppery, too blecch is the verdict most of the time, but still I keep ordering because the restaurant that does them right will have my undying love. Until then, I'll just make my own whenever I need a comfort dish.

4. Pogo.com - I love playing games and Pogo feeds my addiction. Many nights I can be found there, playing games and collecting tokens. I'm very competitive and there I can go, compete, win and not have to listen to any whining about it. (People may whine, but I can always turn off the chat. And, really, people are mostly congratulatory, not whiny.) I can also play many games against "robots" so I don't even have to concern myself with someone else's reaction. Yes, it's a little anti-social but it works for me. There are so many games to chose from and it's relaxing to play. Each week there are badges to win, which is a fun way to challenge yourself and learn new games.

5. Iced Tea - This is my drink of choice, and one that feeds my need for great quantities of ice. I get tired of carbonated drinks and usually head for the iced tea when it's available. I drink it year-round; I figure if you nutty people can drink hot coffee in the summer, I can drink iced tea in the heart of winter! I love mixing it with lemonade to create an Arnold Palmer, which I'm always surprised to learn many people haven't heard of before. There's nothing like a perfectly sweetened, ice-cold, frosty glass of tea...filled to the brim with ice.

So there you have it, my graceful addictions, laid out for the world to see. I never know who will be in to this kind of thing so I won't tag anyone directly, but if you blog and would like to share your addictions with us, I hope you'll let us know in the comments.

Not Entirely Gratuitous Catblogging

To celebrate actually posting five days in a row, I decided to provide an illustrative photo for one of my recent posts and break all sorts of precedent by posting twice in one day. Yesterday, Issa commented about one of my GIST items, "Tiny little kitty lips." Being allergic, she doesn't get all that close to cats and therefore that one wasn't too meaningful for her!

I got out my camera this afternoon, in part because I wanted to practice a bit with a new lens I got for Christmas and hadn't had occasion to use yet. As the cats were all post-nap relaxed, they were (relatively) patient with the flash and I was able to get what I wanted.

Behold, the inspiration for the tiny little kitty lips, Peri.



When she comes up to me, stands there for a moment, then lets out this one plaintive "Mewwwwwww," because she wants something, I just can't take my eyes off those little lips. She has never been a very vocal cat so it's always so surprising when she does this. In that respect, Finn has been both a good and bad influence on her. He's vocal and, after a couple of years, she realized that he got results by voicing his opinion.

And because I can't post a picture of Peri and not one of Finn, here's the best one I got of him.



He really wasn't in the mood for having his picture taken, so I couldn't even get close to having a shot of his lips. Besides, he's a boy cat and his lips aren't as adorable as Peri's. (He's got a cuter nose, though, to be fair.)

I Don't Think This Is Really Going To Count

I don't know if I can really consider this to be a Grace In Small Things post, but this is the best it's going to get. I'm not sure what I ate, but I'm fairly certain that I just experienced the worst bout of food poisoning I've ever had.

The time my mother gave me food poisoning from canning her own strawberry jam was actually more memorable, but it wasn't as bad as this. 'Cause that happens to everyone at least once, right?

Anyway, I'm going to spare you any details and you can read between the lines as much or as little as you want. And because this is all my day has been about - in between trying to figure out what the hell I ate that caused all this - it's going to have to count as my entry for today.

5/365-ish

1. I'm not throwing up anymore.

2. I'm not stuck in the bathroom anymore.

3. The pie I ate yesterday will not be going straight to my hips.

4. Being in my room for hours on end (between trips to the bathroom) has enabled me to get caught up on a lot of TV on my DVR.

5. Sleep, when it finally comes, after a long, rough night, is the sleep of angels.

Grace In Small Things, 4/365-ish

1. Finding out a friend is pregnant and feeling that bloom of joy.

2. The line of delicate foam a retreating wave leaves on the sand.

3. Tiny little kitty lips.

4. Catching a wisp of my favorite perfume as I raise my wrist past my face.

5. The anticipation of joining my first book club.



The Insta-Book Club is hosted by the incredible, intrepid Insta-mom and you're welcome to join us. We've selected our first book, Revolutionary Road, and will be meeting in cyberspace in early March via TweetChat.

I cannot remember the last time I posted twice in a weekend. Schmutzie, what have you done to me?!

Grace In Small Things, 3/365-ish

Just as I expected, I end up thinking about these all day long. Not an altogether bad thing. So far, so good and I'm happy I've been able to make it three days in a row. If I keep it up, I might have to drop the "ish" part.

Hmm.

Maybe?

Naaaaah.

1. The feel of a baby's hand clenched around your finger.

2. Bubbles rising from the bottom of a champagne flute.

3. Hearing "Yesterday" come on the radio and being swamped by memories of my grade-school crush.

4. Curling up in my favorite chair with the luxurious faux fur throw.

5. That spark of excitement when you come up with a great Scrabble word.

Grace In Small Things, 2/365-ish

I can tell you one thing about doing this project: It's going to be HARD. It's hard to sit here and try to think of things that make me feel good, that aren't too personal to share, don't sound too incredibly stupid (meaning I can actually come up with a way to articulate them), aren't things I've read on someone else's list...you get the idea.

I'm hopeful that it will get easier in time. In other words, that I'll get the "GIST" of it all.

1. The flip of a spatula yielding a perfectly formed, perfectly browned pancake.

2. The feel of really fine silk resting against your skin.

3. The loveliest shade of purple in a shirt that fits you just right.

4. The scent of Earl Grey tea rising from my mug.

5. A slice of luscious pie in the lightest, flakiest of crusts.

Happy Blogoversary to Me!

Today marks the fifth anniversary of One Ping Only. It's hard for me to believe that so much time has passed. Granted, one of those years was spent not actually posting. But I'm giving myself credit for coming back and reviving it because, frankly, if I hadn't taken the time, if I had forced it and resented it, the whole shebang probably would have gone belly-up.

The last year has been more rewarding because I've let myself do exactly what I want with it instead of worrying about what I "should" do or what anyone else thinks. Given all the angst I see other, "younger" bloggers going through, I think that's an accomplishment.

I do have some regrets about the year off, as I lost contact with a lot of good bloggers whose online lives I'd enjoyed being a part of during this blog's infancy. I've come to accept that as a part of the life cycle of not only blogging, but life itself. Or, at least, my life. I've mentioned before how I'm the kind of person who is very cyclical and I've come to accept that. Beating myself up about it doesn't change my nature, it just makes me feel bad about it and I'd like to be more positive than that.

Positivity is what my next project here on OPO is all about. A blogger I've gotten to know online in the past year is Schmutzie, who has a number of sites, the newest of which is Grace in Small Things.

Grace in Small Things is a daily reminder to take notice of the positive things we tend to overlook. Schmutzie stated that she started the site with the following intention: "Every day for 365 days, I will post a list of five things that have graced my life, either on that day or at any time in my life." You can read more about the how and why here.

I had been reading the posts on her blog listing her five things and I really liked the idea, but I didn't take the initiative to try it myself. One day I told her that I admired her doing her list every day, and that reading hers helps me remember to think about the things I would be writing about if I weren't too lazy. I'm not sure if she intended to shake me out of my lazy, but a short time later she invited me to be a part of the Grace in Small Things group.

I'm going to try to take up the challenge.

I know myself well enough to know that posting every day is going to be virtually impossible. But I also know that I'll be thinking about what I will post for it every day. That, to me, makes it 365-ish. And, hey, who knows? Maybe if the positivity needle starts to edge upward, I'll find that I want to post more often, even if it's just to share my list. Alternately, I may share some of them only over at the Grace in Small Things page if the mood strikes.

So today, on the fifth birthday of my little spot on the Internet, I'd like to present my first list, 1/365-ish. (If I had cake to share with you all, this is where I'd be passing it out, but keeping a corner piece with a big, lilac-colored flower on it for myself.)

1. The glint of light on the silver streaks shot through my mom's formerly dark hair.

2. The sight of my completely trusting, completely relaxed cat with all four legs in the air.

3. The feel of the raised letters on the cover of a new book beneath my fingers.

4. The tiniest bud poking out on a plant I thought would never bloom.

5. The sound of much-needed rain on the roof as I'm falling asleep.

If you would like to be a part of Grace in Small Things, too, please consider this your invitation. To make it a little easier, here's a button just for you:

Visit Grace in Small Things

More Than Just A Good Hair Day

I was delighted to hear that some of you took the opportunity yesterday to do something giving and I really appreciated your comments. I had the day off from work in honor of the celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, and while watching the midday news I was pleased to see that they focused on the national day of service and what people were doing for it. I had decided to do something new (for me) as my service to the community, and was inspired to choose it by a recent post from OHMommy at Classy Chaos Reviews.

Her post was interesting to me for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that it was a donation drive based on comments, much like mine. Her donation went to a local emergency shelter for women and their children who are affected by domestic violence. The review part of it was for the products that Suave had sent to her to compare to their more expensive counterparts. She "put Suavenomics to the test!" and I was sold; OHMommy knows from good personal care products. I'm totally trying their Humectant shampoo next time I need a new bottle. (Though I'm waiting for the free bottle coupon I signed up for to arrive in the mail -- one saves money where one can so one can splurge where one wants!)

But, beauty product talk aside, what grabbed my attention was that she had immediately packaged up the more expensive brands that Suave had sent (for comparison), in order to donate them to that women's shelter. I've never worked with a shelter before in any way, so I didn't have an awareness of that kind of need. Of course, I kind of mentally slapped myself in the head after thinking about it because it seemed obvious.

Then, last week I received an email that mentioned a service activity by a local Planned Parenthood center for the new President's national day of service. They held a "Giving Back the Basics: Toiletries and Essentials Drive" for local women's shelters, where they were looking for donations of exactly the kind of things OHMommy had given.

Serendipity, I tell you.

Over the course of the weekend, I picked up as many items as I could from the personal care side of the list of suggested donations they provided, (those at least I know and am aware of what's a good value and what's not; the baby stuff, not so much) then dropped them off at the collection site. It was heartening to see how much stuff they were sorting through and organizing inside.

After I'd bought all of my items, my mother said she wished she had thought to give me the coupons out of the Sunday newspaper insert because there were a lot of them for those kinds of products. I mentally slapped myself (again) and assured her there would be a next time when they could be used.

That's when I had an idea. There are always a lot of coupons for personal care and baby care items in those inserts, and I think most of us -- if we clip coupons at all -- use only a fraction of them. Sometimes they're real money-savers, but only if they're items you actually use or you know someone else who can use them! So I plan to pull all those coupons out of the paper, plus the ones I get online but can rarely use, and start buying items on that list (including the baby ones!) with them. This will serve both as a means of getting the most for the donation dollar and as a reminder to collect these items and drop them off periodically. I call that a win-win.

The Year of Living Generously

Thank you to those who gave me feedback about the causes and organizations you support and the ways in which you do so. Definitely food for thought.

I wrote those first two sentences three days ago. I've been struggling with where I want this post to go since then. I guess I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do and balancing that with how I share it here.

The basic idea is that I'm making this year one where I give as much as possible, both in the sense of giving money and in giving my time, to good causes that I find. Being practical, it's going to be more about where I target my giving dollars and how frequently I'm going to give those dollars. While I will look for opportunities to volunteer and do more than give money, I know the limitations of my time and personal comfort zone, and it would be foolish to make a commitment I know I won't be able to keep.

My purpose is not "Here's what I did, aren't I great?" It's also not intended to be a laundry list of opportunities for others to give. Striking that balance between encouragement and details of actual actions, along with a modicum of accountability, is something I'm finding to be very challenging. I'm also leery of coming off like a patsy who's going to be handing out money for every sob story that comes my way. That's my cynical side coming out, I know, but it's hard to ignore.

While this was something I was thinking about a lot when the donation drive was going on, it brought into more focus by some posts I read at BlogHer, one of which surprised me by mentioning the donation drive. (How did that happen? I left a comment on the author's first post about charitable giving throughout the year, not just at the holidays. Amazing how that works, huh?) While they contain some interesting ideas, none of them sounded just right so I needed to consider how to make it work for me. Thus was born The Year of Living Generously.

I don't know how to talk about the things that inspire me to act, however, without it coming off like one big overshare of self-congratulatory largess. Telling you, "Hey, I gave $X so far this month," isn't meaningful in my opinion. Telling you, "These are the charitable organizations I think you should support, too," is somewhat condescending (and limiting, if that makes sense). I would like to help inspire others to act where they can, yes, but what I do and how I do it isn't necessarily what any of you would do.

So it looks like this is a work in progress. I've already started finding and acting on giving opportunities, and I've already blown past what I initially thought would be my monthly dollar cap. Another bit of balance I need to work on achieving, I suppose. :-)

There is one aspect of this endeavor that I'd like to initiate, and that's highlighting agencies, events and opportunities for giving that I want to share with you. The one I'm going to lead off with is one you've probably already heard about, since it's pretty high-profile, given that was initiated by this guy called (President-elect) Barack Obama. He has called for tomorrow, the U.S. holiday commemorating the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, to be a day of service across the country. I think this is an excellent opportunity to do something that you've been thinking about doing, be it large or small. Whether it's getting that spare blanket out of your closet and dropping it off at the nearest HomeGoods store or walking across the street to take the garbage to the curb for a neighbor who has limited mobility, giving your time to a local soup kitchen or giving blood that's so desperately needed, make the effort to get out and do it.

You Know You Want To

I've decided to take advantage of Delurking Day '09 to make a few comments about comments and lurkers. I know a little bit about both, although they are not nearly in proportion to each other on this site. The number of lurkers far outweighs the number of comments you see. There are some lurkers that I'm just dying to find out about and want to directly address, but I really don't want to alienate them because, hey, there's nothing wrong with lurking. But.

But, there's also nothing wrong with commenting, even if it's just to say, "Hey, I enjoyed reading this," even if you don't add, "...and the 25 other pages of your blog I viewed today and didn't comment on!"

I know that a lot...no, let me amend that..A LOT of people end up here via a Google search for the phrase "one ping only" from the quote in the movie "The Hunt for Red October" and that this is not really the page that they're looking for, at all. I can't apologize, because that's one of my favorite movies and it's not a mistake that I used that line here.

I also know that, recently, quite a number of people have ended up here via a new thing called AlphaInventions.com, which has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it's really nice to have new people stop by and see your site visit number rise because of it. A curse because not one of the people who has found me that way was inspired enough to say so much as, "Boo!" So that's a little frustrating. I have found a few blogs by it that I was intrigued about enough to bookmark or subscribe to them and go back from time to time. I try to make sure to let them know that I found them via AlphaInventions because I think it can be helpful to let people know where they're finding an audience. And since I know how much I enjoy comments from people, both those I know and those I do not know, I think it's a good way to reach out to newer bloggers.

And finally, I know that I can't be all things to all people, and that I have to write for myself (essentially) for me to enjoy doing it and want to continue. I value beyond measure the Internet friends I have, who I can count on to comment on my recent posts and let me know I'm not completely typing into the void here, and the people I know in person who stop by from time to time. I appreciate that what I often choose to ramble on about isn't necessarily enough to inspire people to add their own two cents -- the notable exception being the recent holiday donation drive that really brought people out in gratifying numbers -- but I hope that maybe once in a while you'll be willing to just say hello and that you enjoyed stopping by.

It's OK, the water is fine, c'mon in.