The First Rule of Dodgeball Club Is...

Well, enough with that brevity crap -- it's highly overrated. Trying to edit myself to something that short all the time would stress me out. But how's this for a stress-buster: adult dodgeball clubs. It's really happening out there, and not just in Portland and at universities.

There's at least one league in San Francisco. And while driving up there on a regular basis to participate would cause me even more stress, the idea of it is pretty appealing. I especially like the "drinking and other mayhem" part. What a way to dispel the power of our grade school memories of that game! When you were either at the mercy (or lack thereof) of the big and mean, or you were the big and mean and you enjoyed PE way too much on those days when weather kept us inside. And look, there are even rules to keep those vestigial bullies in line. (Though I like this version better. Dodgeball and playing doctor, all at the same time? Your inner child will wet its pants with excitement.)

Now, you can start your own team, never be the last one to get picked, take out your aggression and tension on like-minded people, then go out to drink with them afterwards. Not to mention the very coolest part of all -- picking the team name. Notice the almost radical difference in the approach to the names between the adult and teen teams in this tournament. "Dream Team," "Schaumburg Stinkers," and "Tenacious Teens" versus "Dicky Donkers, "Lambs to The Slaughter," and "Got Milf?" You tell me who was having the better time.

Anyone want to head to Schaumburg, Illinois, this July for the 2004 tournament and join the "BlogPimp Daddies," "Links R Us," and "Bloggin' Bytches" teams as we show them how it's done? After we hit the bars for celebration, toting our trophies, we can always descend on the Motorola headquarters and make fun of them for their dumb HelloMoto ad campaign. Or just throw a bunch of red rubber balls at their building and run like hell.