Phil, would you mind pointing in the direction from which the Racers will be arriving...again?

Oh, Amazing Race, how you do make my week!

Tonight's episode had almost all the elements of a perfect show: drama; tension; humor; beautiful scenery; taxi mishaps; boating mishaps; balky horses; sulky gay youth; plucky and goofy elders; one arrogant prick (sorry if you don't like the word, but that's what Ray is); one near-weepy wife of said prick; lots of baby and honey use; despair; and joy!

And those that it didn't have are in next week's two-hour show! It's almost too much excitement for little recovering me to bear.

Yes, I'm feeling significantly better (thanks), but the stuff I'm taking to help me get through the night without waking up coughing -- I hope! -- has made a little more sleepy than usual at this point. So for the details, I am, predictably, going to point you in the direction of TVgasm for the full recap. (Tip: Don't drink anything while you're reading it. Your keyboard will thank you. I speak from experience.)

Here are My Moments:

Most useless statement -- either Lynn or Alex saying "My shoes are getting wet!" as their rubber dingy takes on water before dying completely.

Best "too much information" statement -- Patrick declaring "My crotch hurts," after completing the Detour on a horse. (But of course he didn't complete it without having a little session of bitching at his mom.)

Second-best comeuppance -- Ray having to settle for a next-to-last-place finish, when he spent the whole show bitching about not belonging down with the "bottom-feeders" and weak teams, and how he wouldn't allow it. I sincerely hope he and his burned, red, peeling, jerky nose are eliminated next.

Worst missed opportunity -- my deciding not to count "babies" and "honeys" this time around, since this episode was chock full of them. The things I did decide to keep track of were a complete bust.

Best poking fun at oneself -- Rob declaring, "[It's] like I was born with a horseshoe...right up my ass!" when talking about his luck. I will also give the Sweetest moment to Rob, for giving his beloved Boston Red Sox cap to the driver of their rubber dinghy for performing beyond the call of duty.

THE best comeuppance...EVER -- The instantaneous wiping of smirks off the faces of the four lead teams when Rob and Amber got on the earlier flight at the very last moment, after their spending an inordinate amount of time crowing about the Survivor pair being left behind. THAT was classic Amazing Race.

Best re-use of a joke from a prior AR7 post -- Bad news for Rob and Amber as the first team to arrive at the Pitstop and winning yet another trip from Travelocity: They're stuck with the gnome for that much longer! (At least I amuse myself.)